By Rick Warren
My Personal Takeaways →The Purpose Driven Life answers the most fundamental question a person can ask: what on earth am I here for? Warren argues that your life is not about you — it is about God, and understanding that changes everything about how you approach work, relationships, suffering, and time. The book is structured around five purposes: worship, fellowship, discipleship, ministry, and mission.
Read this if you feel directionless, distracted, or disconnected from what truly matters. It is best engaged slowly — one chapter per day as designed — and applied relationally, not just intellectually. Implement it by working through the reflection questions honestly, sharing it with one other person, and letting the five purposes serve as a filter for how you spend your most important resource: your days.
By Rick Warren
This is more than a book; it is a guide to a 40-day spiritual journey that will enable you to discover the answer to life’s most important question: What on earth am I here for? By the end of this journey you will know God’s purpose for your life and will understand the big picture — how all the pieces of your life fit together. Having this perspective will reduce your stress, simplify your decisions, increase your satisfaction, and, most important, prepare you for eternity.
Today the average life span is 25,550 days. That’s how long you will live if you are typical. Don’t you think it would be a wise use of time to set aside 40 of those days to figure out what God wants you to do with the rest of them?
Whenever God wanted to prepare someone for his purposes, he took 40 days: Noah’s life was transformed by 40 days of rain. Moses was transformed by 40 days on Mount Sinai. The spies were transformed by 40 days in the Promised Land. David was transformed by Goliath’s 40-day challenge. Elijah was transformed when God gave him 40 days of strength from a single meal. The entire city of Nineveh was transformed when God gave the people 40 days to change. Jesus was empowered by 40 days in the wilderness. The disciples were transformed by 40 days with Jesus after his resurrection.
“Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively. If one of them falls down, the other can help him up. Two people can resist an attack that would defeat one person alone. A rope made of three cords is hard to break.” ECCLESIASTES 4:9
A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree. PROVERBS 11:28
Blessed are those who trust in the Lord. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit. JEREMIAH 17: 7–8
For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, … everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. COLOSSIANS 1: 16
The search for the purpose of life has puzzled people for thousands of years. That’s because we typically begin at the wrong starting point — ourselves. We ask self-centered questions like What do I want to be? What should I do with my life? What are my goals, my ambitions, my dreams for my future? But focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life’s purpose. The Bible says, “It is God who directs the lives of his creatures; everyone’s life is in his power.” Contrary to what many popular books, movies, and seminars tell you, you won’t discover your life’s meaning by looking within yourself. You have probably tried that already. You didn’t create yourself, so there is no way you can tell yourself what you were created for! If I handed you an invention you had never seen before, you wouldn’t know its purpose, and the invention itself wouldn’t be able to tell you either. Only the creator or the owner’s manual could reveal its purpose.
You exist only because God wills that you exist. You were made by God and for God — and until you understand that, life will never make sense. It is only in God that we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance, and our destiny. Every other path leads to a dead end.
Life is about letting God use you for his purposes, not your using him for your own purpose. The Bible says, “Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life.”
You could reach all your personal goals, becoming a raving success by the world’s standard, and still miss the purposes for which God created you. You need more than self-help advice. The Bible says, “Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.”
The easiest way to discover the purpose of an invention is to ask the creator of it.
God has not left us in the dark to wonder and guess. He has clearly revealed his five purposes for our lives through the Bible.
You don’t get to choose your purpose. The purpose of your life fits into a much larger, cosmic purpose that God has designed for eternity.
I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born. ISAIAH 44:2
Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God.
It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment. You are alive because God wanted to create you!
The Bible says, “You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your Book!”
The parents you had were the ones he chose, And no matter how you may feel, They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind, And they bear the Master’s seal. No, that trauma you faced was not easy. And God wept that it hurt you so; But it was allowed to shape your heart So that into his likeness you’d grow. You are who you are for a reason, You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod. You are who you are, beloved, Because there is a God!
I observed that the basic motive for success is the driving force of envy and jealousy! ECCLESIASTES 4:4
There are hundreds of circumstances, values, and emotions that can drive your life. Here are five of the most common ones:
Many people are driven by guilt.
Guilt-driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future. They often unconsciously punish themselves by sabotaging their own success. When Cain sinned, his guilt disconnected him from God’s presence, and God said, “You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.” That describes most people today — wandering through life without a purpose. We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it. God’s purpose is not limited by your past. He turned a murderer named Moses into a leader and a coward named Gideon into a courageous hero, and he can do amazing things with the rest of your life, too. God specializes in giving people a fresh start. The Bible says, “What happiness for those whose guilt has been forgiven!…What relief for those who have confessed their sins and God has cleared their record.”
Many people are driven by resentment and anger.
They hold on to hurts and never get over them. Instead of releasing their pain through forgiveness, they rehearse it over and over in their minds.
Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent.
The Bible says, “To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do.”
Many people are driven by fear.
Many people are driven by materialism.
Many people are driven by the need for approval.
They allow the expectations of parents or spouses or children or teachers or friends to control their lives. Many adults are still trying to earn the approval of unpleasable parents. Others are driven by peer pressure, always worried by what others might think. Unfortunately, those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. I don’t know all the keys to success, but one key to failure is to try to please everyone.
Without a purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. Without a purpose, life is trivial, petty, and pointless.
There are five great benefits of living a purpose-driven life: Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life. We were made to have meaning. This is why people try dubious methods, like astrology or psychics, to discover it. When life has meaning, you can bear almost anything; without it, nothing is bearable.
Without God, life has no purpose, and without purpose, life has no meaning. Without meaning, life has no significance or hope. In the Bible, many different people expressed this hopelessness. Isaiah complained, “I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing.”
The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose.
Hope is as essential to your life as air and water. You need hope to cope.
Knowing your purpose simplifies your life. It defines what you do and what you don’t do. Your purpose becomes the standard you use to evaluate which activities are essential and which aren’t. You simply ask, “Does this activity help me fulfill one of God’s purposes for my life?” Without a clear purpose you have no foundation on which you base decisions, allocate your time, and use your resources. You will tend to make choices based on circumstances, pressures, and your mood at that moment. People who don’t know their purpose try to do too much — and that causes stress, fatigue, and conflict.
It is impossible to do everything people want you to do. You have just enough time to do God’s will. If you can’t get it all done, it means you’re trying to do more than God intended for you to do (or, possibly, that you’re watching too much television).
The Bible says, “A pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is a full life.”
Knowing your purpose focuses your life. It concentrates your effort and energy on what’s important. You become effective by being selective. It’s human nature to get distracted by minor issues. We play Trivial Pursuit with our lives. Henry David Thoreau observed that people live lives of “quiet desperation,” but today a better description is aimless distraction. Many people are like gyroscopes, spinning around at a frantic pace but never going anywhere. Without a clear purpose, you will keep changing directions, jobs, relationships, churches, or other externals — hoping each change will settle the confusion or fill the emptiness in your heart.
The power of focusing can be seen in light. Diffused light has little power or impact, but you can concentrate its energy by focusing it. With a magnifying glass, the rays of the sun can be focused to set grass or paper on fire. When light is focused even more as a laser beam, it can cut through steel.
The men and women who have made the greatest difference in history were the most focused. For instance, the apostle Paul almost single-handedly spread Christianity throughout the Roman Empire. His secret was a focused life. He said, “I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.”
Paul said, “Let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us.”
Knowing your purpose motivates your life. Purpose always produces passion. Nothing energizes like a clear purpose. On the other hand, passion dissipates when you lack a purpose.
George Bernard Shaw wrote, “This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
Knowing your purpose prepares you for eternity. Many people spend their lives trying to create a lasting legacy on earth. They want to be remembered when they’re gone. Yet, what ultimately matters most will not be what others say about your life but what God says. What people fail to realize is that all achievements are eventually surpassed, records are broken, reputations fade, and tributes are forgotten.
“Given enough time, all your trophies will be trashed by someone else!” Living to create an earthly legacy is a shortsighted goal. A wiser use of time is to build an eternal legacy. You weren’t put on earth to be remembered. You were put here to prepare for eternity. One day you will stand before God, and he will do an audit of your life, a final exam, before you enter eternity. The Bible says, “Remember, each of us will stand personally before the judgment seat of God… Yes, each of us will have to give a personal account to God.”
Fortunately, God wants us to pass this test, so he has given us the questions in advance. From the Bible we can surmise that God will ask us two crucial questions: First, “What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ?” God won’t ask about your religious background or doctrinal views. The only thing that will matter is, did you accept what Jesus did for you and did you learn to love and trust him? Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Second, “What did you do with what I gave you?” What did you do with your life — all the gifts, talents, opportunities, energy, relationships, and resources God gave you? Did you spend them on yourself, or did you use them for the purposes God made you for?”
The first question will determine where you spend eternity. The second question will determine what you do in eternity.
Life on earth is just the dress rehearsal before the real production. You will spend far more time on the other side of death — in eternity — than you will here. Earth is the staging area, the preschool, the tryout for your life in eternity. It is the practice workout before the actual game; the warm-up lap before the race begins. This life is preparation for the next.
The Bible calls your earthly body a “tent,” but refers to your future body as a “house.” The Bible says, “When this tent we live in — our body here on earth — is torn down, God will have a house in heaven for us to live in, a home he himself has made, which will last forever.”
The closer you live to God, the smaller everything else appears.
When you live in light of eternity, your values change. You use your time and money more wisely. You place a higher premium on relationships and character instead of fame or wealth or achievements or even fun. Your priorities are reordered. Keeping up with trends, fashions, and popular values just doesn’t matter as much anymore.
The Bible says, “No mere man has ever seen, heard or even imagined what wonderful things God has ready for those who love the Lord.”
Only a fool would go through life unprepared for what we all know will eventually happen.
“It ought to be the business of every day to prepare for our final day.”
The Bible says, “Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God.”
The Bible offers three metaphors that teach us God’s view of life: Life is a test, life is a trust, and life is a temporary assignment. These ideas are the foundation of purpose-driven living.
Life on earth is a Test.
This life metaphor is seen in stories throughout the Bible. God continually tests people’s character, faith, obedience, love, integrity, and loyalty. Words like trials, temptations, refining, and testing occur more than 200 times in the Bible. God tested Abraham by asking him to offer his son Isaac. God tested Jacob when he had to work extra years to earn Rachel as his wife. Adam and Eve failed their test in the garden of Eden, and David failed his tests from God on several occasions. But the Bible also gives us many examples of people who passed a great test, such as Joseph, Ruth, Esther, and Daniel. Character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test. You are always being tested. God constantly watches your response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, disappointment, and even the weather! He even watches the simplest actions such as when you open a door for others, when you pick up a piece of trash, or when you’re polite toward a clerk or waitress. We don’t know all the tests God will give you, but we can predict some of them, based on the Bible. You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism, and even senseless tragedies.
A very important test is how you act when you can’t feel God’s presence in your life. Sometimes God intentionally draws back, and we don’t sense his closeness. A king named Hezekiah experienced this test. The Bible says, “God withdrew from Hezekiah in order to test him and to see what was really in his heart.”
When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life.
Some tests seem overwhelming, while others you don’t even notice. But all of them have eternal implications.
James says, “Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. When they pass the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”
Life on earth is a Trust.
This is the second biblical metaphor of life. Our time on earth and our energy, intelligence, opportunities, relationships, and resources are all gifts from God that he has entrusted to our care and management. We are stewards of whatever God gives us. This concept of stewardship begins with the recognition that God is the owner of everything and everyone on earth. The Bible says, “The world and all that is in it belong to the LORD; the earth and all who live on it are his.”
When God created Adam and Eve, he entrusted the care of his creation to them and appointed them trustees of his property.
The first job God gave humans was to manage and take care of God’s “stuff” on earth. This role has never been rescinded. It is a part of our purpose today. Everything we enjoy is to be treated as a trust that God has placed in our hands.
In the story of the talents, a businessman entrusts his wealth to the care of his servants while he’s away. When he returns, he evaluates each servant’s responsibility and rewards them accordingly. The owner says, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness.”
Most people fail to realize that money is both a test and a trust from God. God uses finances to teach us to trust him, and for many people, money is the greatest test of all. God watches how we use money to test how trustworthy we are. The Bible says, “If you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven?”
Jesus said, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away. PSALM 39:4. I am here on earth for just a little while. PSALM 119:19.
Life is described as a mist, a fast runner, a breath, and a wisp of smoke. The Bible says, “For we were born but yesterday. Our days on earth are as transient as a shadow.”
Repeatedly the Bible compares life on earth to temporarily living in a foreign country. This is not your permanent home or final destination. You’re just passing through, just visiting earth. The Bible uses terms like alien, pilgrim, foreigner, stranger, visitor, and traveler to describe our brief stay on earth.
The fact that earth is not our ultimate home explains why, as followers of Jesus, we experience difficulty, sorrow, and rejection in this world. It also explains why some of God’s promises seem unfulfilled, some prayers seem unanswered, and some circumstances seem unfair. This is not the end of the story.
A fish would never be happy living on land, because it was made for water. An eagle could never feel satisfied if it wasn’t allowed to fly. You will never feel completely satisfied on earth, because you were made for more. You will have happy moments here, but nothing compared with what God has planned for you.
You will not be in heaven two seconds before you cry out, “Why did I place so much importance on things that were so temporary? What was I thinking? Why did I waste so much time, energy, and concern on what wasn’t going to last?”
Throughout history, God has revealed his glory to people in different settings. He revealed it first in the garden of Eden, then to Moses, then in the tabernacle and the temple, then through Jesus, and now through the church. It was portrayed as a consuming fire, a cloud, thunder, smoke, and a brilliant light.
God says, “They are my own people, and I created them to bring me glory,” so it ought to be the supreme goal of our lives.
Jesus told the Father, “I brought glory to you here on earth by doing everything you told me to do.” Jesus honored God by fulfilling his purpose on earth. We honor God the same way. When anything in creation fulfills its purpose, it brings glory to God.
We bring God glory by worshiping him. Worship is our first responsibility to God. We worship God by enjoying him.
John Piper notes, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.”
Worship is far more than praising, singing, and praying to God. Worship is a lifestyle of enjoying God, loving him, and giving ourselves to be used for his purposes. When you use your life for God’s glory, everything you do can become an act of worship.
John wrote, “Our love for each other proves that we have gone from death to life.” Paul said, “Accept each other just as Christ has accepted you; then God will be glorified.”
We bring God glory by becoming like Christ. Once we are born into God’s family, he wants us to grow to spiritual maturity. What does that look like? Spiritual maturity is becoming like Jesus in the way we think, feel, and act. The more you develop Christlike character, the more you will bring glory to God.
We bring God glory by serving others with our gifts. Each of us was uniquely designed by God with talents, gifts, skills, and abilities. The way you’re “wired” is not an accident.
We bring God glory by telling others about him. God doesn’t want his love and purposes kept a secret. Once we know the truth, he expects us to share it with others. This is a great privilege — introducing others to Jesus, helping them discover their purpose, and preparing them for their eternal destiny. The Bible says, “As God’s grace brings more and more people to Christ, God will receive more and more glory.”
Living the rest of your life for the glory of God will require a change in your priorities, your schedule, your relationships, and everything else.
You created everything, and it is for your pleasure that they exist and were created. REVELATION 4:11. The Lord takes pleasure in his people. PSALM 149:4.
One of the greatest gifts God has given you is the ability to enjoy pleasure. He wired you with five senses and emotions so you can experience it. He wants you to enjoy life, not just endure it. The reason you are able to enjoy pleasure is that God made you in his image. We often forget that God has emotions, too. He feels things very deeply. The Bible tells us that God grieves, gets jealous and angry, and feels compassion, pity, sorrow, and sympathy as well as happiness, gladness, and satisfaction. God loves, delights, gets pleasure, rejoices, enjoys, and even laughs!
Actually, worship predates music. Adam worshiped in the garden of Eden, but music isn’t mentioned until Genesis 4:21 with the birth of Jubal. If worship were just music, then all who are nonmusical could never worship. Worship is far more than music.
Worship is not for your benefit. As a pastor, I receive notes that say, “I loved the worship today. I got a lot out of it.” This is another misconception about worship. It isn’t for our benefit! We worship for God’s benefit. When we worship, our goal is to bring pleasure to God, not ourselves. If you have ever said, “I didn’t get anything out of worship today,” you worshiped for the wrong reason.
The Bible says, “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.”
Worship is not a part of your life; it is your life. Worship is not just for church services. We are told to “worship him continually” and to “praise him from sunrise to sunset.” In the Bible people praised God at work, at home, in battle, in jail, and even in bed! Praise should be the first activity when you open your eyes in the morning and the last activity when you close them at night.
Every activity can be transformed into an act of worship when you do it for the praise, glory, and pleasure of God.
This is the secret to a lifestyle of worship — doing everything as if you were doing it for Jesus. The Message paraphrase says, “Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering.” Work becomes worship when you dedicate it to God and perform it with an awareness of his presence.
May the LORD smile on you. NUMBERS 6:25. Smile on me, your servant; teach me the right way to live. PSALM 119:135.
The Bible says, “Noah was a pleasure to the Lord.” God said, “This guy brings me pleasure. He makes me smile. I will start over with his family.” Because Noah brought pleasure to God, you and I are alive today. From his life we learn the five acts of worship that make God smile. God smiles when we love him supremely. Noah loved God more than anything else in the world, even when no one else did! The Bible tells us that for his entire life, “Noah consistently followed God’s will and enjoyed a close relationship with Him.”
It’s the most astounding truth in the universe — that our Creator wants to fellowship with us. God made you to love you, and he longs for you to love him back. He says, “I don’t want your sacrifices — I want your love; I don’t want your offerings — I want you to know me.”
Jesus called it the greatest commandment. He said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.”
God smiles when we trust him completely. The second reason Noah pleased God was that he trusted God, even when it didn’t make sense. The Bible says, “By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn’t see, and acted on what he was told.
The Bible says, “He takes pleasure in those that honor Him; in those who trust in His constant love.”
The Bible says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God.”
God doesn’t owe you an explanation or reason for everything he asks you to do. Understanding can wait, but obedience can’t. Instant obedience will teach you more about God than a lifetime of Bible discussions. In fact, you will never understand some commands until you obey them first. Obedience unlocks understanding.
We make a list of the commands we like and obey those while ignoring the ones we think are unreasonable, difficult, expensive, or unpopular. I’ll attend church but I won’t tithe. I’ll read my Bible but won’t forgive the person who hurt me. Yet partial obedience is disobedience.
The Bible says, “Obey him gladly.” This is the attitude of David: “Just tell me what to do and I will do it, Lord. As long as I live I’ll wholeheartedly obey.”
Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey my commandments.
After the Flood, God gave Noah these simple instructions: ‘‘Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth. Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.” God said, “It’s time to get on with your life! Do the things I designed humans to do. Make love to your spouse. Have babies. Raise families. Plant crops and eat meals. Be humans! This is what I made you to be!”
Anytime you reject any part of yourself, you are rejecting God’s wisdom and sovereignty in creating you. God says, “You have no right to argue with your Creator. You are merely a clay pot shaped by a potter. The clay doesn’t ask, ‘Why did you make me this way?’ ”
When you live in light of eternity, your focus changes from “How much pleasure am I getting out of life?” to “How much pleasure is God getting out of my life?”
Surrender is an unpopular word, disliked almost as much as the word submission. It implies losing, and no one wants to be a loser. Surrender evokes the unpleasant images of admitting defeat in battle, forfeiting a game, or yielding to a stronger opponent.
After spending eleven chapters of the book of Romans explaining God’s incredible grace to us, Paul urges us to fully surrender our lives to God in worship: “So then, my friends, because of God’s great mercy to us … offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer.”
This act of personal surrender is called many things: consecration, making Jesus your Lord, taking up your cross, dying to self, yielding to the Spirit. What matters is that you do it, not what you call it. God wants your life — all of it. Ninety-five percent is not enough.
There are three barriers that block our total surrender to God: fear, pride, and confusion. We don’t realize how much God loves us, we want to control our own lives, and we misunderstand the meaning of surrender. Can I trust God? Trust is an essential ingredient to surrender. You won’t surrender to God unless you trust him, but you can’t trust him until you know him better. Fear keeps us from surrendering, but love casts out all fear. The more you realize how much God loves you, the easier surrender becomes. How do you know God loves you? He gives you many evidences: God says he loves you; you’re never out of his sight; he cares about every detail of your life; he gave you the capacity to enjoy all kinds of pleasure; he has good plans for your life; he forgives you; and he is lovingly patient with you. God loves you infinitely more than you can imagine.
It is the oldest temptation: “You’ll be like God!” That desire — to have complete control — is the cause of so much stress in our lives. Life is a struggle, but what most people don’t realize is that our struggle, like Jacob’s, is really a struggle with God! We want to be God, and there’s no way we are going to win that struggle. A. W. Tozer said, “The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interfering with God’s work within us.”
What it means to surrender. Surrendering to God is not passive resignation, fatalism, or an excuse for laziness. It is not accepting the status quo. It may mean the exact opposite: sacrificing your life or suffering in order to change what needs to be changed. God often calls surrendered people to do battle on his behalf.
After a night of failed fishing, Simon modeled surrender when Jesus told him to try again: “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”
You also know you’re surrendered when you don’t react to criticism and rush to defend yourself. Surrendered hearts show up best in relationships. You don’t edge others out, you don’t demand your rights, and you aren’t self-serving when you’re surrendered. The most difficult area to surrender for many people is their money. Many have thought, “I want to live for God but I also want to earn enough money to live comfortably and retire someday.” Retirement is not the goal of a surrendered life, because it competes with God for the primary attention of our lives. Jesus said, “You cannot serve both God and money” and “Wherever your treasure is, your heart will be also.”
As Joshua approached the biggest battle of his life, he encountered God, fell in worship before him, and surrendered his plans. That surrender led to a stunning victory at Jericho. This is the paradox: Victory comes through surrender.
William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, said, “The greatness of a man’s power is in the measure of his surrender.”
Regardless, surrendering is never just a one-time event. Paul said, “I die daily.” There is a moment of surrender, and there is the practice of surrender, which is moment-by-moment and lifelong. The problem with a living sacrifice is that it can crawl off the altar, so you may have to resurrender your life fifty times a day. You must make it a daily habit. Jesus said, “If people want to follow me, they must give up the things they want. They must be willing to give up their lives daily to follow me.”
One of the great Christian leaders of the twentieth century was Bill Bright, the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ. Through Crusade staff around the world, the Four Spiritual Laws tract, and the Jesus film (seen by over four billion people), more than 150 million people have come to Christ and will spend eternity in heaven. I once asked Bill, “Why did God use and bless your life so much?” He said, “When I was a young man, I made a contract with God. I literally wrote it out and signed my name at the bottom. It said, ‘From this day forward, I am a slave of Jesus Christ.’
Your relationship to God has many different aspects: God is your Creator and Maker, Lord and Master, Judge, Redeemer, Father, Savior, and much more. But the most shocking truth is this: Almighty God yearns to be your Friend! In Eden we see God’s ideal relationship with us: Adam and Eve enjoyed an intimate friendship with God. There were no rituals, ceremonies, or religion — just a simple loving relationship between God and the people he created.
We were made to live in God’s continual presence, but after the Fall, that ideal relationship was lost. Only a few people in Old Testament times had the privilege of friendship with God. Moses and Abraham were called “friends of God,” David was called “a man after God’s own heart,” and Job, Enoch, and Noah had intimate friendships with God. But fear of God, not friendship, was more common in the Old Testament.
Unlike the Old Testament priests who had to spend hours preparing to meet him, we can now approach God anytime. The Bible says, “Now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God — all because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God.”
Jesus said, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” The word for friend in this verse does not mean a casual acquaintance but a close, trusted relationship. The same word is used to refer to the best man at a wedding and a king’s inner circle of intimate, trusted friends.
Knowing and loving God is our greatest privilege, and being known and loved is God’s greatest pleasure. God says, “If any want to boast, they should boast that they know and understand me. These are the things that please me.”
You will never grow a close relationship with God by just attending church once a week or even having a daily quiet time. Friendship with God is built by sharing all your life experiences with him.
“Praying without ceasing” means conversing with God while shopping, driving, working, or performing any other everyday tasks.
The classic book on learning how to develop a constant conversation with God is Practicing the Presence of God. It was written in the seventeenth century by Brother Lawrence, a humble cook in a French monastery. Brother Lawrence was able to turn even the most commonplace and menial tasks, like preparing meals and washing dishes, into acts of praise and communion with God. The key to friendship with God, he said, is not changing what you do, but changing your attitude toward what you do. What you normally do for yourself you begin doing for God, whether it is eating, bathing, working, relaxing, or taking out the trash. Today we often feel we must “get away” from our daily routine in order to worship God, but that is only because we haven’t learned to practice his presence all the time. Brother Lawrence found it easy to worship God through the common tasks of life; he didn’t have to go away for special spiritual retreats. This is God’s ideal. In Eden, worship was not an event to attend, but a perpetual attitude; Adam and Eve were in constant communion with God.
Another of Brother Lawrence’s helpful ideas was to pray shorter conversational prayers continually through the day rather than trying to pray long sessions of complex prayers. To maintain focus and counteract wandering thoughts, he said, “I do not advise you to use a great multiplicity of words in prayer, since long discourses are often the occasions for wandering.”
The Bible tells us to “pray all the time.” How is it possible to do this? One way is to use “breath prayers” throughout the day, as many Christians have done for centuries. You choose a brief sentence or a simple phrase that can be repeated to Jesus in one breath: “You are with me.” “I receive your grace.” “I’m depending on you.” “I want to know you.” “I belong to you.” “Help me trust you.” You can also use a short phrase of Scripture: “For me to live is Christ.” “You will never leave me.” “You are my God.” Pray it as often as possible so it is rooted deep in your heart. Just be sure that your motive is to honor God, not control him.
We don’t praise God to feel good, but to do good. Your goal is not a feeling, but a continual awareness of the reality that God is always present. That is the lifestyle of worship.
A second way to establish a friendship with God is by thinking about his Word throughout your day. This is called meditation, and the Bible repeatedly urges us to meditate on who God is, what he has done, and what he has said. It is impossible to be God’s friend apart from knowing what he says.
The Bible says God “revealed himself to Samuel through his word.” God still uses that method today.
When you think about a problem over and over in your mind, that’s called worry. When you think about God’s Word over and over in your mind, that’s meditation. If you know how to worry, you already know how to meditate! You just need to switch your attention from your problems to Bible verses. The more you meditate on God’s Word, the less you will have to worry about.
Job admitted, “I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.” David said, “Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long.” “They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about them.”
Prayer lets you speak to God; meditation lets God speak to you. Both are essential to becoming a friend of God.
Fortunately, because of God’s grace, Jesus is still the “ friend of sinners.” In the Bible, the friends of God were honest about their feelings, often complaining, second-guessing, accusing, and arguing with their Creator. God, however, didn’t seem to be bothered by this frankness; in fact, he encouraged it. God allowed Abraham to question and challenge him over the destruction of the city of Sodom. Abraham pestered God over what it would take to spare the city, negotiating God down from fifty righteous people to only ten. God also listened patiently to David’s many accusations of unfairness, betrayal, and abandonment. God did not slay Jeremiah when he claimed that God had tricked him. Job was allowed to vent his bitterness during his ordeal, and in the end, God defended Job for being honest, and he rebuked Job’s friends for being inauthentic.
Moses, David, Abraham, Job, and others — had bouts with doubt. But instead of masking their misgivings with pious clichés, they candidly voiced them openly and publicly. Expressing doubt is sometimes the first step toward the next level of intimacy with God.
The truth is — you are as close to God as you choose to be. Intimate friendship with God is a choice, not an accident. You must intentionally seek it. Do you really want it — more than anything? What is it worth to you? Is it worth giving up other things? Is it worth the effort of developing the habits and skills required?
Pain is the fuel of passion — it energizes us with an intensity to change that we don’t normally possess. C. S. Lewis said, “Pain is God’s megaphone.” It is God’s way of arousing us from spiritual lethargy. Your problems are not punishment; they are wake-up calls from a loving God.
God doesn’t want a part of your life. He asks for all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. God is not interested in halfhearted commitment, partial obedience, and the leftovers of your time and money. He desires your full devotion, not little bits of your life.
The kind of worship that pleases God has four characteristics: God is pleased when our worship is accurate.
“True worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.” To “worship in truth” means to worship God as he is truly revealed in the Bible.
God is pleased when our worship is authentic.
Heartless praise is not praise at all!
When we worship, God looks past our words to see the attitude of our hearts. The Bible says, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Your biggest distraction in worship is yourself — your interests and your worries over what others think about you.
In his book Sacred Pathways, Gary identifies nine of the ways people draw near to God: Naturalists are most inspired to love God out-of-doors, in natural settings. Sensates love God with their senses and appreciate beautiful worship services that involve their sight, taste, smell, and touch, not just their ears. Traditionalists draw closer to God through rituals, liturgies, symbols, and unchanging structures. Ascetics prefer to love God in solitude and simplicity. Activists love God through confronting evil, battling injustice, and working to make the world a better place. Caregivers love God by loving others and meeting their needs. Enthusiasts love God through celebration. Contemplatives love God through adoration. Intellectuals love God by studying with their minds.
Be specific. If someone approached you and repeated, “I praise you!” ten times, you would probably think, For what? You would rather receive two specific compliments than twenty vague generalities. So would God. Another idea is to make a list of the different names of God and focus on them. God’s names are not arbitrary; they tell us about different aspects of his character. In the Old Testament, God gradually revealed himself to Israel by introducing new names for himself, and he commands us to praise his name.
In the Old Testament, God took pleasure in the many sacrifices of worship because they foretold of Jesus’ sacrifice for us on the cross. Now God is pleased with different sacrifices of worship: thanksgiving, praise, humility, repentance, offerings of money, prayer, serving others, and sharing with those in need. Real worship costs. David knew this and said: “I will not offer to the LORD my God sacrifices that have cost me nothing.”
When you praise God even when you don’t feel like it, when you get out of bed to worship when you’re tired, or when you help others when you are worn out, you are offering a sacrifice of worship to God. That pleases God.
The deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when he seems distant.
Besides Jesus, David probably had the closest friendship with God of anyone. God took pleasure in calling him “a man after my own heart.” Yet David frequently complained of God’s apparent absence: “Lord, why are you standing aloof and far away? Why do you hide when I need you the most?” “Why have you forsaken me? Why do you remain so distant? Why do you ignore my cries for help?” “Why have you abandoned me?” Of course, God hadn’t really left David, and he doesn’t leave you. He has promised repeatedly, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” But God has not promised “you will always feel my presence.” In fact, God admits that sometimes he hides his face from us.
Often this feeling of abandonment or estrangement from God has nothing to do with sin. It is a test of faith — one we all must face: Will you continue to love, trust, obey, and worship God, even when you have no sense of his presence or visible evidence of his work in your life?
When Job’s life fell apart, and God was silent, Job still found things he could praise God for:
Because God is love, he treasures relationships. His very nature is relational, and he identifies himself in family terms: Father, Son, and Spirit.
First, we will get to be with God forever. Second, we will be completely changed to be like Christ. Third, we will be freed from all pain, death, and suffering. Fourth, we will be rewarded and reassigned positions of service. Fifth, we will get to share in Christ’s glory.
This means that your eternal inheritance is priceless, pure, permanent, and protected. No one can take it from you; it can’t be destroyed by war, a poor economy, or a natural disaster. This eternal inheritance, not retirement, is what you should be looking forward to and working for. Paul says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.”
Why is baptism so important? Then I realized it is because it symbolizes God’s second purpose for your life: participating in the fellowship of God’s eternal family. Baptism is pregnant with meaning. Your baptism declares your faith, shares Christ’s burial and resurrection, symbolizes your death to your old life, and announces your new life in Christ. It is also a celebration of your inclusion in God’s family. Your baptism is a physical picture of a spiritual truth.
Whenever you feel unimportant, unloved, or insecure, remember to whom you belong.
No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:3. Love means living the way God commanded us to live. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is this: Live a life of love. 2 JOHN 1:6.
Learning to love unselfishly is not an easy task. It runs counter to our self-centered nature. That’s why we’re given a lifetime to learn it.
Peter tells us, “Show special love for God’s people.” Paul echoes this sentiment: “When we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.” Why does God insist that we give special love and attention to other believers? Why do they get priority in loving? Because God wants his family to be known for its love more than anything else. Jesus said our love for each other — not our doctrinal beliefs — is our greatest witness to the world. He said, “Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
Love should be your top priority, primary objective, and greatest ambition. Love is not a good part of your life; it’s the most important part. The Bible says, “Let love be your greatest aim.” It’s not enough to say, “One of the things I want in life is to be loving,” as if it’s on your top ten list. Relationships must have priority in your life above everything else.
Four of the Ten Commandments deal with our relationship to God while the other six deal with our relationships with people. But all ten are about relationships! Later, Jesus summarized what matters most to God in two statements: love God and love people. He said, “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
Busyness is a great enemy of relationships. We become preoccupied with making a living, doing our work, paying bills, and accomplishing goals as if these tasks are the point of life.
When life on earth is ending, people don’t surround themselves with objects. What we want around us is people — people we love and have relationships with. In our final moments we all realize that relationships are what life is all about. Wisdom is learning that truth sooner rather than later. Don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to figure out that nothing matters more.
The third reason to make learning to love the goal of your life is that it is what we will be evaluated on in eternity. One of the ways God measures spiritual maturity is by the quality of your relationships. In heaven God won’t say, “Tell me about your career, your bank account, and your hobbies.” Instead he will review how you treated other people, particularly those in need. Jesus said the way to love him is to love his family and care for their practical needs: “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” When you transfer into eternity, you will leave everything else behind. All you’re taking with you is your character. That’s why the Bible says, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” Knowing this, I suggest that when you wake up every morning, you kneel by your bed, or sit on the edge of it, and pray this: “God, whether I get anything else done today, I want to make sure that I spend time loving you and loving other people.”
If you want to know a person’s priorities, just look at how they use their time.
The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention. Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment. Attention says, “I value you enough to give you my most precious asset — my time.” Whenever you give your time, you are making a sacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love.
You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. “God so loved the world that he gave.” Love means giving up — yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit of someone else.
Who do you need to start spending more time with? What do you need to cut out of your schedule to make that possible? What sacrifices do you need to make? The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.
We are created for community, fashioned for fellowship, and formed for a family, and none of us can fulfill God’s purposes by ourselves.
While your relationship to Christ is personal, God never intends it to be private. In God’s family you are connected to every other believer, and we will belong to each other for eternity. The Bible says, “In Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” Following Christ includes belonging, not just believing.
In churches, membership is often reduced to simply adding your name to a roll, with no requirements or expectations. To Paul, being a “member” of the church meant being a vital organ of a living body, an indispensable, interconnected part of the Body of Christ. We need to recover and practice the biblical meaning of membership. The church is a body, not a building.
This is why the first symptom of spiritual decline is usually inconsistent attendance at worship services and other gatherings of believers. Whenever we become careless about fellowship, everything else begins to slide, too.
The Bible calls the church “the bride of Christ” and “the body of Christ.” I can’t imagine saying to Jesus, “I love you, but I dislike your wife.” Or “I accept you, but I reject your body.”
Today’s culture of independent individualism has created many spiritual orphans — “bunny believers” who hop around from one church to another without any identity, accountability, or commitment.
A church family identifies you as a genuine believer. I can’t claim to be following Christ if I’m not committed to any specific group of disciples. Jesus said, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” When we come together in love as a church family from different backgrounds, race, and social status, it is a powerful witness to the world. You are not the Body of Christ on your own. You need others to express that. Together, not separated, we are his Body.
You will never grow to maturity just by attending worship services and being a passive spectator. Only participation in the full life of a local church builds spiritual muscle. The Bible says, “As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” Over fifty times in the New Testament the phrase “one another” or “each other” is used. We are commanded to love each other, pray for each other, encourage each other, admonish each other, greet each other, serve each other, teach each other, accept each other, honor each other, bear each other’s burdens, forgive each other, submit to each other, be devoted to each other, and many other mutual tasks. This is biblical membership! These are your “family responsibilities” that God expects you to fulfill through a local fellowship. Who are you doing these with?
We are called and commanded to be involved in each other’s lives. If you know someone who is wavering spiritually right now, it is your responsibility to go after them and bring them back into the fellowship. James tells us, “If you know people who have wandered off from God’s truth, don’t write them off. Go after them. Get them back.”
The difference between being a church attender and a church member is commitment. Attenders are spectators from the sidelines; members get involved in the ministry. Attenders are consumers; members are contributors. Attenders want the benefits of a church without sharing the responsibility. They are like couples who want to live together without committing to a marriage.
God wants you to love real people, not ideal people. You can spend a lifetime searching for the perfect church, but you will never find it. You are called to love imperfect sinners, just as God does.
Jesus ministered in the context of a small group of disciples. He could have chosen more, but he knew twelve is about the maximum size you can have in a small group if everyone is to participate.
In real fellowship people experience authenticity. Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It is genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing. It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.
The Bible says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.”
All of us are more consistent in our faith when others walk with us and encourage us. The Bible commands mutual accountability, mutual encouragement, mutual serving, and mutual honoring.
The Bible says, “Make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”
In real fellowship people experience sympathy. Sympathy is not giving advice or offering quick, cosmetic help; sympathy is entering in and sharing the pain of others.
Sympathy meets two fundamental human needs: the need to be understood and the need to have your feelings validated.
The problem is that we are often in so much of a hurry to fix things that we don’t have time to sympathize with people. Or we’re preoccupied with our own hurts. Self-pity dries up sympathy for others.
There are different levels of fellowship, and each is appropriate at different times. The simplest levels of fellowship are the fellowship of sharing and the fellowship of studying God’s Word together. A deeper level is the fellowship of serving, as when we minister together on mission trips or mercy projects. The deepest, most intense level is the fellowship of suffering, where we enter into each other’s pain and grief and carry each other’s burdens.
The Bible commands: “Share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” It is in the times of deep crisis, grief, and doubt that we need each other most. When circumstances crush us to the point that our faith falters, that’s when we need believing friends the most. We need a small group of friends to have faith in God for us and to pull us through.
You can’t have fellowship without forgiveness. God warns, “Never hold grudges,” because bitterness and resentment always destroy fellowship.
The Bible says, “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” God’s mercy to us is the motivation for showing mercy to others. Remember, you will never be asked to forgive someone else more than God has already forgiven you.
Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Trust requires a track record. If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you.
Solomon said, “An honest answer is a sign of true friendship.”
Many church fellowships and small groups remain superficial because they are afraid of conflict. Whenever an issue pops up that might cause tension or discomfort, it is immediately glossed over in order to preserve a false sense of peace.
Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others.”
In every church and in every small group, there is always at least one “difficult” person, usually more than one. These people may have special emotional needs, deep insecurities, irritating mannerisms, or poor social skills.
Cultivating community takes frequency. You must have frequent, regular contact with your group in order to build genuine fellowship.
The first Christians met together every day! “They worshiped together regularly at the Temple each day, met in small groups in homes for Communion, and shared their meals with great joy and thankfulness.” Fellowship requires an investment of time.
If you are a member of a small group or class, I urge you to make a group covenant that includes the nine characteristics of biblical fellowship: We will share our true feelings (authenticity), encourage each other (mutuality), support each other (sympathy), forgive each other (mercy), speak the truth in love (honesty), admit our weaknesses (humility), respect our differences (courtesy), not gossip (confidentiality), and make group a priority (frequency).
Jesus said, “Blessed are those who work for peace” — those who actively seek to resolve conflict. Peacemakers are rare because peacemaking is hard work.
Talk to God before talking to the person. Discuss the problem with God. If you will pray about the conflict first instead of gossiping to a friend, you will often discover that either God changes your heart or he changes the other person without your help. All your relationships would go smoother if you would just pray more about them.
Most conflict is rooted in unmet needs. Some of these needs can only be met by God.
The apostle James noted that many of our conflicts are caused by prayerlessness: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? You want something but don’t get it. You do not have, because you do not ask God.” Instead of looking to God, we look to others to make us happy and then get angry when they fail us.
Always take the initiative. It doesn’t matter whether you are the offender or the offended: God expects you to make the first move. Don’t wait for the other party. Go to them first.
The success of a peace conference often depends on choosing the right time and place to meet. Don’t meet when either of you are tired or rushed or will be interrupted. The best time is when you both are at your best.
Confess your part of the conflict. If you are serious about restoring a relationship, you should begin with admitting your own mistakes or sin. Jesus said it’s the way to see things more clearly: “First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Since we all have blind spots, you may need to ask a third party to help you evaluate your own actions before meeting with the person with whom you have a conflict. Also ask God to show you how much of the problem is your fault. Ask, “Am I the problem? Am I being unrealistic, insensitive, or too sensitive?” The Bible says, “If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves.”
In resolving conflict, how you say it is as important as what you say. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. God tells us, “A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is.”
For the sake of fellowship, you must destroy your arsenal of relational nuclear weapons, including condemning, belittling, comparing, labeling, insulting, condescending, and being sarcastic. Paul sums it up this way: “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.”
Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution. It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often becomes irrelevant. We can reestablish a relationship even when we are unable to resolve our differences. Christians often have legitimate, honest disagreements and differing opinions, but we can disagree without being disagreeable. The same diamond looks different from different angles. God expects unity, not uniformity, and we can walk arm-in-arm without seeing eye-to-eye on every issue.
Most of all, let love guide your life, for then the whole church will stay together in perfect harmony. COLOSSIANS 3:14.
Nothing on earth is more valuable to God than his church. He paid the highest price for it, and he wants it protected, especially from the devastating damage that is caused by division, conflict, and disharmony.
Focus on what we have in common, not our differences. Paul tells us, “Let us concentrate on the things which make for harmony, and on the growth of one another’s character.”
God tells us, “Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”
If a church must be perfect to satisfy you, that same perfection will exclude you from membership, because you’re not perfect!
The sooner we give up the illusion that a church must be perfect in order to love it, the sooner we quit pretending and start admitting we’re all imperfect and need grace. This is the beginning of real community.
Whenever I judge another believer, four things instantly happen: I lose fellowship with God, I expose my own pride and insecurity, I set myself up to be judged by God, and I harm the fellowship of the church. A critical spirit is a costly vice.
You know spreading gossip is wrong, but you should not listen to it, either, if you want to protect your church. Listening to gossip is like accepting stolen property, and it makes you just as guilty of the crime.
A fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him — work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you have made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church.” During conflict, it is tempting to complain to a third party rather than courageously speak the truth in love to the person you’re upset with. This makes the matter worse. Instead, you should go directly to the person involved. Private confrontation is always the first step, and you should take it as soon as possible.
The Bible gives pastors very specific instructions on how to deal with divisive people in the fellowship. They are to avoid arguing, gently teach the opposition while praying they will change, warn those who are argumentative, plead for harmony and unity, rebuke those who are disrespectful of leadership, and remove divisive people from the church if they ignore two warnings.
God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. ROMANS 8:29.
We look at this Son and see God’s original purpose in everything created. COLOSSIANS 1:15.
From the very beginning, God’s plan has been to make you like his Son, Jesus. This is your destiny and the third purpose of your life. God announced this intention at Creation: “Then God said, ‘Let us make human beings in our image and likeness.’ ”
This desire to be a god shows up every time we try to control our circumstances, our future, and people around us. But as creatures, we will never be the Creator. God doesn’t want you to become a god; he wants you to become godly — taking on his values, attitudes, and character. The Bible says, “Take on an entirely new way of life — a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.”
God’s ultimate goal for your life on earth is not comfort, but character development. He wants you to grow up spiritually and become like Christ. Becoming like Christ does not mean losing your personality or becoming a mindless clone. God created your uniqueness, so he certainly doesn’t want to destroy it. Christlikeness is all about transforming your character, not your personality.
God wants you to develop the kind of character described in the beatitudes of Jesus, the fruit of the Spirit, Paul’s great chapter on love, and Peter’s list of the characteristics of an effective and productive life. Every time you forget that character is one of God’s purposes for your life, you will become frustrated by your circumstances. You’ll wonder, “Why is this happening to me? Why am I having such a difficult time?” One answer is that life is supposed to be difficult! It’s what enables us to grow. Remember, earth is not heaven!
It is the Holy Spirit’s job to produce Christlike character in you. The Bible says, “As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more.” This process of changing us to be more like Jesus is called sanctification, and it is the third purpose of your life on earth. You cannot reproduce the character of Jesus on your own strength. New Year’s resolutions, willpower, and best intentions are not enough. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to make the changes God wants to make in our lives. The Bible says, “God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him.”
We must cooperate with the Holy Spirit’s work. Throughout the Bible we see an important truth illustrated over and over: The Holy Spirit releases his power the moment you take a step of faith. When Joshua was faced with an impassible barrier, the floodwaters of the Jordan River receded only after the leaders stepped into the rushing current in obedience and faith. Obedience unlocks God’s power. God waits for you to act first. Don’t wait to feel powerful or confident. Move ahead in your weakness, doing the right thing in spite of your fears and feelings. This is how you cooperate with the Holy Spirit, and it is how your character develops.
At least eight times in the New Testament we are told to “make every effort” in our growth toward becoming like Jesus. You don’t just sit around and wait for it to happen. Paul explains in Ephesians 4 our three responsibilities in becoming like Christ. First, we must choose to let go of old ways of acting. “Everything connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it!” Second, we must change the way we think. “Let the Spirit change your way of thinking.” The Bible says we are “transformed” by the renewing of our minds.
Third, we must “put on” the character of Christ by developing new, godly habits. Your character is essentially the sum of your habits; it is how you habitually act. The Bible says, “Put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
God uses his Word, people, and circumstances to mold us. All three are indispensable for character development. God’s Word provides the truth we need to grow, God’s people provide the support we need to grow, and circumstances provide the environment we need to practice Christlikeness.
Much confusion in the Christian life comes from ignoring the simple truth that God is far more interested in building your character than he is anything else. We worry when God seems silent on specific issues such as “What career should I choose?” The truth is, there are many different careers that could be in God’s will for your life. What God cares about most is that whatever you do, you do in a Christlike manner.
The Bible warns, “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God.
Jesus did not die on the cross just so we could live comfortable, well-adjusted lives. His purpose is far deeper: He wants to make us like himself before he takes us to heaven. This is our greatest privilege, our immediate responsibility, and our ultimate destiny.
We are not meant to remain as children. EPHESIANS 4:14.
Spiritual growth is not automatic. It takes an intentional commitment. You must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing.
The Bible says, “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” This verse shows the two parts of spiritual growth: “work out” and “work in.” The “work out” is your responsibility, and the “work in” is God’s role. Spiritual growth is a collaborative effort between you and the Holy Spirit. God’s Spirit works with us, not just in us.
When people are casual about their spiritual growth, it shows they don’t understand the eternal implications
To change your life, you must change the way you think. Behind everything you do is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief, and every action is prompted by an attitude. God revealed this thousands of years before psychologists understood it: “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.”
Yes, willpower can produce short-term change, but it creates constant internal stress because you haven’t dealt with the root cause. The change doesn’t feel natural, so eventually you give up, go off your diet, and quit exercising. You quickly revert to your old patterns. There is a better and easier way: Change your autopilot — the way you think.
Change always starts first in your mind. The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel influences the way you act. Paul said, “There must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes.”
Many of our troubles occur because we base our choices on unreliable authorities: culture (“everyone is doing it”), tradition (“we’ve always done it”), reason (“it seemed logical”), or emotion (“it just felt right”). All four of these are flawed by the Fall. What we need is a perfect standard that will never lead us in the wrong direction. Only God’s Word meets that need. Solomon reminds us, “Every word of God is flawless,” and Paul explains, “Everything in the Scriptures is God’s Word. All of it is useful for teaching and helping people and for correcting them and showing them how to live.”
It is not enough just to believe the Bible; I must fill my mind with it so that the Holy Spirit can transform me with the truth. There are five ways to do this: You can receive it, read it, research it, remember it, and reflect on it.
The parable of the sower illustrates how our receptiveness determines whether or not God’s Word takes root in our lives and bears fruit. Jesus identified three unreceptive attitudes — a closed mind (hard soil), a superficial mind (shallow soil), and a distracted mind (soil with weeds) — and then he said, “Consider carefully how you listen.”
Third, researching, or studying, the Bible is another practical way to abide in the Word. The difference between reading and studying the Bible involves two additional activities: asking questions of the text and writing down your insights.
You will discover far more if you pause and ask such simple questions as who? what? when? where? why? and how? The Bible says, “Truly happy people are those who carefully study God’s perfect law that makes people free, and they continue to study it. They do not forget what they heard, but they obey what God’s teaching says. Those who do this will be made happy.”
Your capacity to remember is a God-given gift. You may think you have a poor memory, but the truth is, you have millions of ideas, truths, facts, and figures memorized. You remember what is important to you. If God’s Word is important, you will take the time to remember it. There are enormous benefits to memorizing Bible verses. It will help you resist temptation, make wise decisions, reduce stress, build confidence, offer good advice, and share your faith with others.
The fifth way to abide in God’s Word is to reflect on it, which the Bible calls “meditation.”
Meditation is focused thinking. It takes serious effort. You select a verse and reflect on it over and over in your mind.
One of the reasons God called David “a man after my own heart” is that David loved to reflect on God’s Word. He said, “How I love your teachings! I think about them all day long.”
God’s Word exposes our motives, points out our faults, rebukes our sin, and expects us to change. It’s human nature to resist change, so applying God’s Word is hard work. This is why it is so important to discuss your personal applications with other people.
“The Bible was not given to increase our knowledge but to change our lives.”
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 CORINTHIANS 4:17.
Life is a series of problems. Every time you solve one, another is waiting to take its place. Not all of them are big, but all are significant in God’s growth process for you. Peter assures us that problems are normal, saying, “Don’t be bewildered or surprised when you go through the fiery trials ahead, for this is no strange, unusual thing that is going to happen to you.” God uses problems to draw you closer to himself. The Bible says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.” Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days — when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you’re out of options, when the pain is great — and you turn to God alone. It is during suffering that we learn to pray our most authentic, heartfelt, honest-to-God prayers. When we’re in pain, we don’t have the energy for superficial prayers.
We learn things about God in suffering that we can’t learn any other way.
Because God is sovereignly in control, accidents are just incidents in God’s good plan for you.
God can bring good out of the worst evil. He did at Calvary.
The events in your life work together in God’s plan. They are not isolated acts, but interdependent parts of the process to make you like Christ. To bake a cake you must use flour, salt, raw eggs, sugar, and oil. Eaten individually, each is pretty distasteful or even bitter. But bake them together and they become delicious. If you will give God all your distasteful, unpleasant experiences, he will blend them together for good.
Much of what happens in our world is evil and bad, but God specializes in bringing good out of it. In the official family tree of Jesus Christ, four women are listed: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba. Tamar seduced her father-in-law to get pregnant. Rahab was a prostitute. Ruth was not even Jewish and broke the law by marrying a Jewish man. Bathsheba committed adultery with David, which resulted in her husband’s murder. These were not exactly sterling reputations, but God brought good out of bad, and Jesus came through their lineage. God’s purpose is greater than our problems, our pain, and even our sin.
What is that purpose? It is that we “become like his Son.” Everything God allows to happen in your life is permitted for that purpose!
Every problem is a character-building opportunity, and the more difficult it is, the greater the potential for building spiritual muscle and moral fiber.
Your circumstances are temporary, but your character will last forever.
The Bible often compares trials to a metal refiner’s fire that burns away the impurities. Peter said, “These troubles come to prove that your faith is pure. This purity of faith is worth more than gold.” A silversmith was asked, “How do you know when the silver is pure?” He replied, “When I see my reflection in it.” When you have been refined by trials, people can see Jesus’ reflection in you. James said, “Under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.”
The Bible says Jesus “learned obedience through suffering” and “was made perfect through suffering.”
Problems don’t automatically produce what God intends. Many people become bitter, rather than better, and never grow up. You have to respond the way Jesus would.
Joseph understood this truth when he told his brothers who had sold him into slavery, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” Hezekiah echoed the same sentiment about his life-threatening illness: “It was for my own good that I had such hard times.”
The secret of endurance is to remember that your pain is temporary but your reward will be eternal.
Rejoice and give thanks. The Bible tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” How is this possible? Notice that God tells us to give thanks “in all circumstances” not “ for all circumstances.” God doesn’t expect you to be thankful for evil, for sin, for suffering, or for their painful consequences in the world. Instead, God wants you to thank him that he will use your problems to fulfill his purposes.
The Bible says, “Rejoice in the Lord always.” It doesn’t say, “Rejoice over your pain.” That’s masochism. You rejoice “in the Lord.” No matter what’s happening, you can rejoice in God’s love, care, wisdom, power, and faithfulness.
When you grasp the eternal consequences of your character development, you will pray fewer “Comfort me” prayers (“Help me feel good”) and more “Conform me” prayers (“Use this to make me more like you”).
If you are facing trouble right now, don’t ask, “Why me?” Instead ask, “What do you want me to learn?” Then trust God and keep on doing what’s right.
Happy is the man who doesn’t give in and do wrong when he is tempted, for afterwards he will get as his reward the crown of life that God has promised those who love him. JAMES 1:12
While temptation is Satan’s primary weapon to destroy you, God wants to use it to develop you. Every time you choose to do good instead of sin, you are growing in the character of Christ.
To understand this, you must first identify the character qualities of Jesus. One of the most concise descriptions of his character is the fruit of the Spirit: “When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
God develops the fruit of the Spirit in your life by allowing you to experience circumstances in which you’re tempted to express the exact opposite quality! Character development always involves a choice, and temptation provides that opportunity. For instance, God teaches us love by putting some unlovely people around us. It takes no character to love people who are lovely and loving to you. God teaches us real joy in the midst of sorrow, when we turn to him.
God develops real peace within us, not by making things go the way we planned, but by allowing times of chaos and confusion. Anyone can be peaceful watching a beautiful sunset or relaxing on vacation. We learn real peace by choosing to trust God in circumstances in which we are tempted to worry or be afraid. Likewise, patience is developed in circumstances in which we’re forced to wait and are tempted to be angry or have a short fuse. God uses the opposite situation of each fruit to allow us a choice. You can’t claim to be good if you have never been tempted to be bad. You can’t claim to be faithful if you have never had the opportunity to be unfaithful. Integrity is built by defeating the temptation to be dishonest; humility grows when we refuse to be prideful; and endurance develops every time you reject the temptation to give up.
From the Bible we learn that temptation follows a four-step process, which Satan used both on Adam and Eve and on Jesus. In step one, Satan identifies a desire inside of you. It may be a sinful desire, like the desire to get revenge or to control others, or it may be a legitimate, normal desire, like the desire to be loved and valued or to feel pleasure. Temptation starts when Satan suggests (with a thought) that you give in to an evil desire, or that you fulfill a legitimate desire in a wrong way or at the wrong time. Always beware of shortcuts. They are often temptations! Satan whispers, “You deserve it! You should have it now! It will be exciting, comforting, or make you feel better.”
Jesus said, “For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, eagerness for lustful pleasure, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from within.” James tells us that there is “a whole army of evil desires within you.”
Step two is doubt. Satan tries to get you to doubt what God has said about the sin: Is it really wrong? Did God really say not to do it? Didn’t God mean this prohibition for someone else or some other time? Doesn’t God want me to be happy? The Bible warns, “Watch out! Don’t let evil thoughts or doubts make any of you turn from the living God.” Step three is deception. Satan is incapable of telling the truth and is called “the Father of lies.” Anything he tells you will be untrue or just half-true. Satan offers his lie to replace what God has already said in his Word. Satan says, “You will not die. You’ll be wiser like God. You can get away with it. No one will ever know. It will solve your problem. Besides, everyone else is doing it. It is only a little sin.” But a little sin is like being a little pregnant: It will eventually show itself. Step four is disobedience. You finally act on the thought you have been toying with in your mind. What began as an idea gets birthed into behavior. You give in to whatever got your attention. You believe Satan’s lies and fall into the trap that James warns about: “We are tempted when we are drawn away and trapped by our own evil desires. Then our evil desires conceive and give birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Many Christians are frightened and demoralized by tempting thoughts, feeling guilty that they aren’t “beyond” temptation. They feel ashamed just for being tempted.
It is not a sin to be tempted. Jesus was tempted, yet he never sinned. Temptation only becomes a sin when you give in to it. Martin Luther said, “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”
Actually, the closer you grow to God, the more Satan will try to tempt you.
Satan fears your prayers and will try anything to stop them.
Recognize your pattern of temptation and be prepared for it. There are certain situations that make you more vulnerable to temptation than others. Some circumstances will cause you to stumble almost immediately, while others don’t bother you much. These situations are unique to your weaknesses, and you need to identify them because Satan surely knows them! He knows exactly what trips you up, and he is constantly working to get you into those circumstances.
Ask yourself, “When am I most tempted?
“Where am I most tempted?
“Who is with me when I’m most tempted?
“How do I usually feel when I am most tempted?”
Paul said, “Don’t give the Devil a chance.” Wise planning reduces temptation. Follow the advice of Proverbs: “Plan carefully what you do. Avoid evil and walk straight ahead. Don’t go one step off the right way.”
Request God’s help. Heaven has a twenty-four-hour emergency hotline. God wants you to ask him for assistance in overcoming temptation. He says, “Call on me in times of trouble. I will rescue you, and you will honor me.”
You must do your part too by practicing four biblical keys to defeating temptation. Refocus your attention on something else. It may surprise you that nowhere in the Bible are we told to “resist temptation.” We are told to “resist the devil,” but that is very different, as I’ll explain later. Instead, we are advised to refocus our attention because resisting a thought doesn’t work. It only intensifies our focus on the wrong thing and strengthens its allure.
That’s why Job said, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust upon a young woman.” And David prayed, “Keep me from paying attention to what is worthless.”
That is why repeating “I must stop eating too much or stop smoking or stop lusting” is a self-defeating strategy. It keeps you focused on what you don’t want. It’s like announcing, “I’m never going to do what my mom did.” You are setting yourself up to repeat it.
In the same way, a speaker who keeps repeating to herself, “Don’t be nervous!” sets herself up to be nervous! Instead she should focus on anything except her feelings — on God, on the importance of her speech, or on the needs of those listening. Temptation begins by capturing your attention. What gets your attention arouses your emotions. Then your emotions activate your behavior, and you act on what you felt. The more you focus on “I don’t want to do this,” the stronger it draws you into its web. Ignoring a temptation is far more effective than fighting it. Once your mind is on something else, the temptation loses its power.
You defeat bad thoughts by thinking of something better.
That’s why the Bible repeatedly tells us to keep our minds focused: “Fix your thoughts on Jesus.” “Always think about Jesus Christ.” “Fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.”
This takes a lifetime of practice, but with the help of the Holy Spirit you can reprogram the way you think.
Reveal your struggle to a godly friend or support group. You don’t have to broadcast it to the whole world, but you need at least one person you can honestly share your struggles with. The Bible says, “You are better off to have a friend than to be all alone. If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble.”
Authentic, honest fellowship is the antidote to your lonely struggle against those sins that won’t budge. God says it is the only way you’re going to break free: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Do you really want to be healed of that persistent temptation that keeps defeating you over and over? God’s solution is plain: Don’t repress it; confess it! Don’t conceal it; reveal it. Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. Hiding your hurt only intensifies it. Problems grow in the dark and become bigger and bigger, but when exposed to the light of truth, they shrink.
If you could handle it on your own, you would have already done so. But you can’t. Willpower and personal resolutions aren’t enough.
Whenever someone confides to me, “I’ve never told this to anyone until now,” I get excited for that person because I know they are about to experience great relief and liberation. The pressure valve is going to be released, and for the first time they are going to see a glimmer of hope for their future. It always happens when we do what God tells us to do by admitting our struggles to a godly friend. Let me ask you a tough question: What are you pretending isn’t a problem in your life? What are you afraid to talk about? You’re not going to solve it on your own. Yes, it is humbling to admit our weaknesses to others, but lack of humility is the very thing that is keeping you from getting better. The Bible says, “God sets himself against the proud, but he shows favor to the humble. So humble yourselves before God.”
After we have humbled ourselves and submitted to God, we are then told to defy the Devil. The rest of James 4:7 says, “Resist the Devil and he will flee from you.” We don’t passively resign ourselves to his attacks. We are to fight back.
How can we resist the Devil? Paul tells us, “Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”
Without Christ we are defenseless against the Devil, but with “the helmet of salvation” our minds are protected by God. Remember this: If you are a believer, Satan cannot force you to do anything. He can only suggest. Second, you must use the Word of God as your weapon against Satan. Jesus modeled this when he was tempted in the wilderness. Every time Satan suggested a temptation, Jesus countered by quoting Scripture. He didn’t argue with Satan. He didn’t say, “I’m not hungry,” when tempted to use his power to meet a personal need. He simply quoted Scripture from memory. We must do the same. There is power in God’s Word, and Satan fears it.
If you don’t have any Bible verses memorized, you’ve got no bullets in your gun! I challenge you to memorize one verse a week for the rest of your life. Imagine how much stronger you’ll be.
Realize your vulnerability. God warns us never to get cocky and overconfident; that is the recipe for disaster. Jeremiah said, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.” That means we are good at fooling ourselves. Given the right circumstances, any of us are capable of any sin. We must never let down our guard and think we’re beyond temptation.
Remember that it is easier to stay out of temptation than to get out of it. The Bible says, “Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else.
Today we’re obsessed with speed, but God is more interested in strength and stability than swiftness. We want the quick fix, the shortcut, the on-the-spot solution. We want a sermon, a seminar, or an experience that will instantly resolve all problems, remove all temptation, and release us from all growing pains. But real maturity is never the result of a single experience, no matter how powerful or moving. Growth is gradual. The Bible says, “Our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.”
We are slow learners. We often have to relearn a lesson forty or fifty times to really get it. The problems keep recurring, and we think, “Not again! I’ve already learned that!” — but God knows better. The history of Israel illustrates how quickly we forget the lessons God teaches us and how soon we revert to our old patterns of behavior. We need repeated exposure.
We have a lot to unlearn. Many people go to a counselor with a personal or relational problem that took years to develop and say, “I need you to fix me. I’ve got an hour.” They naïvely expect a quick solution to a long-standing, deep-rooted difficulty. Since most of our problems — and all of our bad habits — didn’t develop overnight, it’s unrealistic to expect them to go away immediately. There is no pill, prayer, or principle that will instantly undo the damage of many years. It requires the hard work of removal and replacement. The Bible calls it “taking off the old self” and “putting on the new self.” While you were given a brand new nature at the moment of conversion, you still have old habits, patterns, and practices that need to be removed and replaced.
The fear of what we might discover if we honestly faced our character defects keeps us living in the prison of denial. Only as God is allowed to shine the light of his truth on our faults, failures, and hang-ups can we begin to work on them. This is why you cannot grow without a humble, teachable attitude.
These character-building habits are often called “spiritual disciplines,”
The Bible says, “It’s crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we’ve heard so that we don’t drift off.”
Be patient with God and with yourself. One of life’s frustrations is that God’s timetable is rarely the same as ours. We are often in a hurry when God isn’t. You may feel frustrated with the seemingly slow progress you’re making in life. Remember that God is never in a hurry, but he is always on time. He will use your entire lifetime to prepare you for your role in eternity.
The Bible is filled with examples of how God uses a long process to develop character, especially in leaders. He took eighty years to prepare Moses, including forty in the wilderness. For 14,600 days Moses kept waiting and wondering, “Is it time yet?” But God kept saying, “Not yet.”
Don’t get discouraged. When Habakkuk became depressed because he didn’t think God was acting quickly enough, God had this to say: “These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!” A delay is not a denial from God. Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.
“Please Be Patient, God Is Not Finished With Me Yet.”
It is God himself who has made us what we are and given us new lives from Christ Jesus; and long ages ago he planned that we should spend these lives in helping others. EPHESIANS 2:10
I glorified you on earth by completing down to the last detail what you assigned me to do. JOHN 17:4
You weren’t created just to consume resources — to eat, breathe, and take up space. God designed you to make a difference with your life. While many best-selling books offer advice on how to “get” the most out of life, that’s not the reason God made you. You were created to add to life on earth, not just take from it.
You were created to serve God. The Bible says, “God has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do.” These “good deeds” are your service. Whenever you serve others in any way, you are actually serving God and fulfilling one of your purposes.
You’re not saved by service, but you are saved for service.
It cost Jesus his own life to purchase your salvation. The Bible reminds us, “God paid a great price for you. So use your body to honor God.”
We owe him our lives. Through salvation our past has been forgiven, our present is given meaning, and our future is secured.
The apostle John taught that our loving service to others shows that we are truly saved. He said, “Our love for each other proves that we have gone from death to life.” If I have no love for others, no desire to serve others, and I’m only concerned about my needs, I should question whether Christ is really in my life. A saved heart is one that wants to serve.
Have you ever wondered why God doesn’t just immediately take us to heaven the moment we accept his grace? Why does he leave us in a fallen world? He leaves us here to fulfill his purposes. Once you are saved, God intends to use you for his goals.
Some churches in China, they welcome new believers by saying “Jesus now has a new pair of eyes to see with, new ears to listen with, new hands to help with, and a new heart to love others with.”
Every ministry matters because we are all dependent on each other to function. What happens when one part of your body fails to function? You get sick. The rest of your body suffers. Imagine if your liver decided to start living for itself: “I’m tired! I don’t want to serve the body anymore! I want a year off just to be fed. I’ve got to do what’s best for me! Let some other part take over.” What would happen? Your body would die. Today thousands of local churches are dying because of Christians who are unwilling to serve. They sit on the sidelines as spectators, and the Body suffers.
Jesus was unmistakable: “Your attitude must be like my own, for I, the Messiah, did not come to be served, but to serve and to give my life.”
Serving and giving sum up God’s fourth purpose for your life.
Jesus taught that spiritual maturity is never an end in itself. Maturity is for ministry! We grow up in order to give out. It is not enough to keep learning more and more. We must act on what we know and practice what we claim to believe.
“Whose needs can I meet?”
Paul said, “I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less because of what you are a part of.”
If you’re not involved in any service or ministry, what excuse have you been using? Abraham was old, Jacob was insecure, Leah was unattractive, Joseph was abused, Moses stuttered, Gideon was poor, Samson was codependent, Rahab was immoral, David had an affair and all kinds of family problems, Elijah was suicidal, Jeremiah was depressed, Jonah was reluctant, Naomi was a widow, John the Baptist was eccentric to say the least, Peter was impulsive and hot-tempered, Martha worried a lot, the Samaritan woman had several failed marriages, Zacchaeus was unpopular, Thomas had doubts, Paul had poor health, and Timothy was timid. That is quite a variety of misfits, but God used each of them in his service. He will use you, too, if you stop making excuses.
The Bible says, “We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.”
Whenever God gives us an assignment, he always equips us with what we need to accomplish it. This custom combination of capabilities is called your SHAPE: Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experience.
The Bible says, “Whoever does not have the Spirit cannot receive the gifts that come from God’s Spirit.” You can’t earn your spiritual gifts or deserve them — that’s why they are called gifts! They are an expression of God’s grace to you. “Christ has generously divided out his gifts to us.” Neither do you get to choose which gifts you’d like to have; God determines that.
Your spiritual gifts were not given for your own benefit but for the benefit of others, just as other people were given gifts for your benefit.
Whenever we forget these basic truths about gifts, it always causes trouble in the church. Two common problems are “gift-envy” and “gift-projection.” The first occurs when we compare our gifts with others’, feel dissatisfied with what God gave us, and become resentful or jealous of how God uses others. The second problem happens when we expect everyone else to have our gifts, do what we are called to do, and feel as passionate about it as we do. The Bible says, “There are different kinds of service in the church, but it is the same Lord we are serving.”
How do you know when you are serving God from your heart? The first telltale sign is enthusiasm. When you are doing what you love to do, no one has to motivate you or challenge you or check up on you. You do it for the sheer enjoyment.
The second characteristic of serving God from your heart is effectiveness. Whenever you do what God wired you to love to do, you get good at it. Passion drives perfection.
The richest man in the world once said, “A simple life in the fear-of-God is better than a rich life with a ton of headaches.”
Don’t settle for just achieving “the good life,” because the good life is not good enough. Ultimately it doesn’t satisfy. You can have a lot to live on and still have nothing to live for. Aim instead for “the better life” — serving God in a way that expresses your heart.
No one has the exact same mix of factors that make you unique. That means no one else on earth will ever be able to play the role God planned for you. If you don’t make your unique contribution to the Body of Christ, it won’t be made.
The Bible says, “God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well.”
One of the most common excuses people give for not serving is “I just don’t have any abilities to offer.” This is ludicrous. You have dozens, probably hundreds, of untapped, unrecognized, and unused abilities that are lying dormant inside you.
Paul said, “Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” The Bible is filled with examples of different abilities that God uses for his glory. Here are just a few of those mentioned in Scripture: artistic ability, architectural ability, administering, baking, boat making, candy making, debating, designing, embalming, embroidering, engraving, farming, fishing, gardening, leading, managing, masonry, making music, making weapons, needlework, painting, planting, philosophizing, machinability, inventing, carpentry, sailing, selling, being a soldier, tailoring, teaching, writing literature and poetry.
God gives some people the ability to make a lot of money. Moses told the Israelites, “Remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth.” People with this ability are good at building a business, making deals or sales, and reaping a profit. If you have this business ability, you should be using it for God’s glory. How? First, realize your ability came from God and give him the credit. Second, use your business to serve a need of others and to share your faith with unbelievers. Third, return at least a tithe (10 percent) of the profit to God as an act of worship. Finally, make your goal to be a Kingdom Builder rather than just a Wealth Builder. I will explain this in chapter 34.
At this writing, nearly 7,000 people are using their abilities in ministry at Saddleback Church, providing every kind of service you could imagine: repairing donated cars to be given to the needy; finding the best deal for church purchases; landscaping; organizing files; designing art, programs, and buildings; providing health care; preparing meals; composing songs; teaching music; writing grant proposals; coaching teams; doing research for sermons or translating them; and hundreds of other specialized tasks. New members are told, “Whatever you’re good at, you should be doing for your church!”
Woodworkers know that it’s easier to work with the grain rather than against it. In the same way, when you are forced to minister in a manner that is “out of character” for your temperament, it creates tension and discomfort, requires extra effort and energy, and produces less than the best results.
Family experiences: What did you learn growing up in your family? • Educational experiences: What were your favorite subjects in school? • Vocational experiences: What jobs have you been most effective in and enjoyed most? • Spiritual experiences: What have been your most meaningful times with God? • Ministry experiences: How have you served God in the past? • Painful experiences: What problems, hurts, thorns, and trials have you learned from?
It is this last category, painful experiences, that God uses the most to prepare you for ministry. God never wastes a hurt! In fact, your greatest ministry will most likely come out of your greatest hurt. Who could better minister to the parents of a Down syndrome child than another couple who have a child afflicted in the same way? Who could better help an alcoholic recover than someone who fought that demon and found freedom? Who could better comfort a wife whose husband has left her for an affair than a woman who went through that agony herself?
The very experiences that you have resented or regretted most in life — the ones you’ve wanted to hide and forget — are the experiences God wants to use to help others. They are your ministry!
People are always more encouraged when we share how God’s grace helped us in weakness than when we brag about our strengths.
Novelist Aldous Huxley said, “Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.” What will you do with what you’ve been through? Don’t waste your pain; use it to help others.
What you are is God’s gift to you; what you do with yourself is your gift to God.
Just start serving, experimenting with different ministries, and then you’ll discover your gifts. Until you’re actually involved in serving, you’re not going to know what you’re good at.
When it doesn’t work out, call it an “experiment,” not a failure. You will eventually learn what you’re good at.
What do I really enjoy doing most? When do I feel the most fully alive? What am I doing when I lose track of time? Do I like routine or variety? Do I prefer serving with a team or by myself? Am I more introverted or extroverted? Am I more a thinker or a feeler?
Forgotten experiences are worthless; that’s a good reason to keep a spiritual journal.
Extracting the lessons from your experiences takes time. I recommend that you take an entire weekend for a life review retreat, where you pause to see how God has worked in the various defining moments of your life and consider how he wants to use those lessons to help others.
The Bible says, “What right have you, a human being, to cross-examine God? The pot has no right to say to the potter: ‘Why did you make me this shape?’ Surely a potter can do what he likes with the clay!” Your shape was sovereignly determined by God for his purpose, so you shouldn’t resent it or reject it. Instead of trying to reshape yourself to be like someone else, you should celebrate the shape God has given only to you.
If you don’t exercise your muscles, they weaken and atrophy. In the same way, if you don’t utilize the abilities and skills God has given you, you will lose them. Jesus taught the parable of the talents to emphasize this truth. Referring to the servant who failed to use his one talent, the master said, “Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents.” Fail to use what you’ve been given and you’ll lose it. Use the ability you’ve got and God will increase it.
“Whoever wants to be great must become a servant.” MARK 10:43
Thousands of books have been written on leadership, but few on servanthood. Everyone wants to lead; no one wants to be a servant. We would rather be generals than privates. Even Christians want to be “servant-leaders,” not just plain servants. But to be like Jesus is to be a servant. That’s what he called himself.
Real servants make themselves available to serve. Servants don’t fill up their time with other pursuits that could limit their availability. They want to be ready to jump into service when called on. Much like a soldier, a servant must always be standing by for duty: “No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him.”
Real servants pay attention to needs.
John Wesley was an incredible servant of God. His motto was “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can.”That is greatness. You can begin by looking for small tasks that no one else wants to do. Do these little things as if they were great things, because God is watching.
You will never arrive at the state in life where you’re too important to help with menial tasks. God will never exempt you from the mundane. It’s a vital part of your character curriculum. The Bible says, “If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody.” It is in these small services that we grow like Christ. Jesus specialized in menial tasks that everyone else tried to avoid: washing feet, helping children, fixing breakfast, and serving lepers.
There will always be more people willing to do “great” things for God than there are people willing to do the little things. The race to be a leader is crowded, but the field is wide open for those willing to be servants. Sometimes you serve upward to those in authority, and sometimes you serve downward to those in need.
This was a sin of the Pharisees. They turned helping others, giving, and even prayer into a performance for others. Jesus hated this attitude and warned, “When you do good deeds, don’t try to show off. If you do, you won’t get a reward from your Father in heaven.” Self-promotion and servanthood don’t mix. Real servants don’t serve for the approval or applause of others. They live for an audience of One.
Notoriety means nothing to real servants because they know the difference between prominence and significance.
King Amaziah lost God’s favor because “he did what was right in the sight of the LORD, yet not with a true heart.”
Servants think like stewards, not owners. Servants remember that God owns it all.
When Martha complained to Jesus that Mary was not helping with the work, she lost her servant’s heart. Real servants don’t complain of unfairness, don’t have pity-parties, and don’t resent those not serving. They just trust God and keep serving.
If you serve like Jesus, you can expect to be criticized. The world, and even much of the church, does not understand what God values. One of the most beautiful acts of love shown to Jesus was criticized by the disciples. Mary took the most valuable thing she owned, expensive perfume, and poured it over Jesus.
Because they remember they are loved and accepted by grace, servants don’t have to prove their worth. They willingly accept jobs that insecure people would consider “beneath” them. One of the most profound examples of serving from a secure self-image is Jesus’ washing the feet of his disciples. Washing feet was the equivalent of being a shoeshine boy, a job devoid of status. But Jesus knew who he was, so the task didn’t threaten his self-image. The Bible says, “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist.”
We are weak, yet by God’s power we will live with him to serve you. 2 CORINTHIANS 13:4.
I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people. 2 CORINTHIANS 12:9.
Everyone has weaknesses. In fact, you have a bundle of flaws and imperfections: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. You may also have uncontrollable circumstances that weaken you, such as financial or relational limitations. The more important issue is what you do with these. Usually we deny our weaknesses, defend them, excuse them, hide them, and resent them. This prevents God from using them the way he desires.
Your weaknesses are not an accident. God deliberately allowed them in your life for the purpose of demonstrating his power through you. God has never been impressed with strength or self-sufficiency. In fact, he is drawn to people who are weak and admit it. Jesus regarded this recognition of our need as being “poor in spirit.” It’s the number one attitude he blesses.
The Bible says, “We are like clay jars in which this treasure is stored. The real power comes from God and not from us.” Like common pottery, we are fragile and flawed and break easily. But God will use us if we allow him to work through our weaknesses.
Admit your weaknesses. Own up to your imperfections. Stop pretending to have it all together, and be honest about yourself.
Be content with your weaknesses. Paul said, “I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses.” At first this doesn’t make sense. We want to be freed from our weaknesses, not be content with them! But contentment is an expression of faith in the goodness of God. It says, “God, I believe you love me and know what’s best for me.”
The less I have, the more I depend on him.
Vulnerability is the pathway to intimacy.
If all people see are your strengths, they get discouraged and think, “Well, good for her, but I’ll never be able to do that.” But when they see God using you in spite of your weaknesses, it encourages them to think, “Maybe God can use me!” Our strengths create competition, but our weaknesses create community. At some point in your life you must decide whether you want to impress people or influence people. You can impress people from a distance, but you must get close to influence them, and when you do that, they will be able to see your flaws.
One night he wrestled with God and said, “I’m not letting go until you bless me.” God said, “All right,” but then he grabbed Jacob’s thigh and dislocated his hip. What is the significance of that? God touched Jacob’s strength (the thigh muscle is the strongest in the body) and turned it into a weakness. From that day forward, Jacob walked with a limp so he could never run away again. It forced him to lean on God whether he liked it or not. If you want God to bless you and use you greatly, you must be willing to walk with a limp the rest of your life, because God uses weak people.
In the same way that you gave me a mission in the world, I give them a mission in the world. JOHN 17:18.
The most important thing is that I complete my mission, the work that the Lord Jesus gave me. ACTS 20:24.
Jesus clearly understood his life mission on earth. At age twelve he said, “I must be about my Father’s business,” and twenty-one years later, dying on the cross, he said, “It is finished.” Like bookends, these two statements frame a well-lived, purpose-driven life. Jesus completed the mission the Father gave him. The mission Jesus had while on earth is now our mission because we are the Body of Christ.
What is that mission? Introducing people to God! The Bible says, “Christ changed us from enemies into his friends and gave us the task of making others his friends also.”
God wants to redeem human beings from Satan and reconcile them to himself so we can fulfill the five purposes he created us for: to love him, to be a part of his family, to become like him, to serve him, and to tell others about him. Once we are his, God uses us to reach others. He saves us and then sends us out.
The Bible says, “You must warn them so they may live. If you don’t speak out to warn the wicked to stop their evil ways, they will die in their sin. But I will hold you responsible for their death.”
Telling others how they can have eternal life is the greatest thing you can do for them. If your neighbor had cancer or AIDS and you knew the cure, it would be criminal to withhold that lifesaving information. Even worse is to keep secret the way to forgiveness, purpose, peace, and eternal life. We have the greatest news in the world, and sharing it is the greatest kindness you can show to anyone.
Your mission has eternal significance. It will impact the eternal destiny of other people, so it’s more important than any job, achievement, or goal you will reach during your life on earth.
We will have all of eternity to celebrate with those we have brought to Jesus, but we only have our lifetime in which to reach them. This does not mean you should quit your job to become a full-time evangelist. God wants you to share the Good News where you are. As a student, mother, preschool teacher, salesman, or manager or whatever you do, you should continually look for people God places in your path with whom you can share the gospel.
That is why we must live purpose-driven lives — lives committed to worship, fellowship, spiritual growth, ministry, and fulfilling our mission on earth. The results of these activities will last — forever!
Paul said, “My life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus — the work of telling others the Good News about God’s wonderful kindness and love.” There are people on this planet whom only you will be able to reach, because of where you live and what God has made you to be. If just one person will be in heaven because of you, your life will have made a difference for eternity.
It is easy to get distracted and sidetracked from your mission because Satan would rather have you do anything besides sharing your faith. He will let you do all kinds of good things as long as you don’t take anyone to heaven with you. But the moment you become serious about your mission, expect the Devil to throw all kinds of diversions at you. When that happens, remember the words of Jesus: “Anyone who lets himself be distracted from the work I plan for him is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”
To fulfill your mission will require that you abandon your agenda and accept God’s agenda for your life. You can’t just “tack it on” to all the other things you’d like to do with your life. You must say, like Jesus, “Father, … I want your will, not mine.” You yield your rights, expectations, dreams, plans, and ambitions to him. You stop praying selfish prayers like “God bless what I want to do.” Instead you pray, “God help me to do what you’re blessing!” You hand God a blank sheet with your name signed at the bottom and tell him to fill in the details.
One night near the end, while my wife, my niece, and I were by his side, Dad suddenly became very active and tried to get out of bed. Of course, he was too weak, and my wife insisted he lay back down. But he persisted in trying to get out of bed, so my wife finally asked, “Jimmy, what are you trying to do?” He replied, “Got to save one more for Jesus! Got to save one more for Jesus! Got to save one more for Jesus!” He began to repeat that phrase over and over. During the next hour, he said the phrase probably a hundred times. “Got to save one more for Jesus!” As I sat by his bed with tears flowing down my cheeks, I bowed my head to thank God for my dad’s faith. At that moment Dad reached out and placed his frail hand on my head and said, as if commissioning me, “Save one more for Jesus! Save one more for Jesus!” I intend for that to be the theme of the rest of my life. I invite you to consider it as a focus for your life, too, because nothing will make a greater difference for eternity. If you want to be used by God, you must care about what God cares about; what he cares about most is the redemption of the people he made. He wants his lost children found! Nothing matters more to God; the Cross proves that. I pray that you will always be on the lookout to reach “one more for Jesus” so that when you stand before God one day, you can say, “Mission accomplished!”
Those who believe in the Son of God have the testimony of God in them. 1 JOHN 5:10.
Your Life Message has four parts to it: 1. Your testimony: The story of how you began a relationship with Jesus. 2. Your life lessons: the most important lessons God has taught you. 3. Your godly passions: the issues God shaped you to care about most. 4. The Good News: the message of salvation.
In a courtroom, a witness isn’t expected to argue the case, prove the truth, or press for a verdict; that is the job of attorneys. Witnesses simply report what happened to them or what they saw. Jesus said, “You will be my witnesses,” not “You will be my attorney.” He wants you to share your story with others. Sharing your testimony is an essential part of your mission on earth because it is unique. There is no other story just like yours, so only you can share it.
Another value of your testimony is that it bypasses intellectual defenses. Many people who won’t accept the authority of the Bible will listen to a humble, personal story. That is why on six different occasions Paul used his testimony to share the gospel instead of quoting Scripture. The Bible says, “Be ready at all times to answer anyone who asks you to explain the hope you have in you, but do it with gentleness and respect.” The best way to “be ready” is to write out your testimony and then memorize the main points. Divide it into four parts: 1. What my life was like before I met Jesus 2. How I realized I needed Jesus 3. How I committed my life to Jesus 4. The difference Jesus has made in my life. Of course, you have many other testimonies besides your salvation story. You have a story for every experience in which God has helped you. You should make a list of all the problems, circumstances, and crises that God has brought you through. Then be sensitive and use the story that your unbelieving friend will relate to best. Different situations call for different testimonies.
Here are a few questions to jog your memory and get you started: • What has God taught me from failure? • What has God taught me from a lack of money? • What has God taught me from pain or sorrow or depression? • What has God taught me through waiting? • What has God taught me through illness? • What has God taught me from disappointment? • What have I learned from my family, my church, my relationships, my small group, and my critics?
You cannot keep yourself from talking about what you care about most. Jesus said, “A man’s heart determines his speech.” Two examples are David, who said, “My zeal for God and his work burns hot within me,” and Jeremiah, who said, “Your message burns in my heart and bones, and I cannot keep silent.”
There are hundreds of great books on how to share the Good News. But all the training in the world won’t motivate you to witness for Christ until you internalize the eight convictions covered in the previous chapter. Most important, you must learn to love lost people the way God does.
The Bible says, “There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear.” A parent will run into a burning building to save a child because their love for that child is greater than their fear. If you’ve been afraid to share the Good News with those around you, ask God to fill your heart with his love for them.
Jesus said to his followers, “Go everywhere in the world, and tell the Good News to everyone.” MARK 16:15. Send us around the world with the news of your saving power and your eternal plan for all mankind. PSALM 67:2.
God commands, “Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too.”
You can learn how to do this by adopting the mindset of Paul, who said, “I don’t think about what would be good for me but about what would be good for many people so that they might be saved.”
What should you pray for? The Bible tells us to pray for opportunities to witness, for courage to speak up, for those who will believe, for the rapid spread of the message, and for more workers. Prayer makes you a partner with others around the world. You should also pray for missionaries and everyone else involved in the global harvest. Paul told his prayer partners, “You are also joining to help us when you pray for us.”
I urge you to save and do whatever it takes to participate in a short-term mission trip overseas as soon as possible. Nearly every mission agency can help you do this. It will enlarge your heart, expand your vision, stretch your faith, deepen your compassion, and fill you with a kind of joy you have never experienced. It could be the turning point in your life.
Shift from thinking of excuses to thinking of creative ways to fulfill your commission. If you are willing, there is always a way to do it, and there are agencies that will help you. Here are some common excuses: • “I only speak English.” This is actually an advantage in many countries where millions of people want to learn English and are eager to practice it. • “I don’t have anything to offer.” Yes, you do. Every ability and experience in your shape can be used somewhere. • “I’m too old (or too young).” Most mission agencies have age-appropriate short-term projects. Whether it was Sarah claiming she was too old to be used by God or Jeremiah claiming he was too young, God rejected their excuses. “ ‘Don’t say that,’ the LORD replied, ‘for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and take care of you.’ ”
Live life with a due sense of responsibility, not as those who do not know the meaning of life but as those who do. EPHESIANS 5:15. Don’t let the errors of evil people lead you down the wrong path and make you lose your balance. 2 PETER 3:17.
One of the events in the summer Olympics is the pentathlon. It is composed of five events: pistol shooting, fencing, horseback riding, running, and swimming. The pentathlete’s goal is to succeed in all five areas, not just one or two. Your life is a pentathlon of five purposes, which you must keep in balance. These purposes were practiced by the first Christians in Acts 2, explained by Paul in Ephesians 4, and modeled by Jesus in John 17, but they are summarized in the Great Commandment and the Great Commission of Jesus. These two statements sum up what this book is all about — God’s five purposes for your life: 1. “Love God with all your heart”: You were planned for God’s pleasure, so your purpose is to love God through worship. 2. “Love your neighbor as yourself”: You were shaped for serving, so your purpose is to show love for others through ministry. 3. “Go and make disciples”: You were made for a mission, so your purpose is to share God’s message through evangelism. 4. “baptize them”: You were formed for God’s family, so your purpose is to identify with his church through fellowship. 5. “teach them to do all things”: You were created to become like Christ, so your purpose is to grow to maturity through discipleship.
The Bible says, “As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other.” We learn best in community. Our minds are sharpened and our convictions are deepened through conversation.
Remember, we are meant to grow together, not separately. The Bible says, “Encourage each other and give each other strength.”
God places a high value on the habit of self-evaluation. At least five times in Scripture we are told to test and examine our own spiritual health. The Bible says, “Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. Test it out. If you fail the test, do something about it.” To maintain your physical health, you need regular checkups with a doctor who can assess your vital signs — blood pressure, temperature, weight, and so on. For your spiritual health you need to regularly check the five vital signs of worship, fellowship, growth in character, ministry, and mission. Jeremiah advised, “Let’s take a good look at the way we’re living and reorder our lives under God.”
Your life is a journey, and a journey deserves a journal. I hope you will write about the stages of your spiritual journey in living a purpose-driven life. Don’t just write down the pleasant things. As David did, record your doubts, fears, and struggles with God.
Pass on what you know to others. If you want to keep growing, the best way to learn more is to pass on what you have already learned. Proverbs tells us, “The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.”
James said, “Anyone who knows the right thing to do, but does not do it, is sinning.” Knowledge increases responsibility. But passing along the purpose of life is more than an obligation; it’s one of life’s greatest privileges.
The night before he was crucified, Jesus reported to his Father, “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.” When Jesus prayed these words, he had not yet died for our sins, so what “work” had he completed? In this instance he was referring to something other than the atonement. The answer lies in what he said in the next twenty verses of his prayer. Jesus told his Father what he had been doing for the last three years: preparing his disciples to live for God’s purposes. He helped them to know and love God (worship), taught them to love each other (fellowship), gave them the Word so they could grow to maturity (discipleship), showed them how to serve (ministry), and sent them out to tell others (mission). Jesus modeled a purpose-driven life, and he taught others how to live it, too. That was the “work” that brought glory to God.
Most people struggle with three basic issues in life. The first is identity: “Who am I?” The second is importance: “Do I matter?” The third is impact: “What is my place in life?” The answers to all three questions are found in God’s five purposes for you.
It’s easy to drift away from what matters most and slowly get off course. To prevent this, you should develop a purpose statement for your life and then review it regularly.
What will be the center of my life? This is the question of worship. Who are you going to live for? What are you going to build your life around?
How do you know when God is at the center of your life? When God is at the center, you worship. When he’s not, you worry. Worry is the warning light that God has been shoved to the sideline.
God is far more interested in what you are than what you do. Remember, you will take your character into eternity, but not your career.
“My life purpose is to worship Christ with my heart, serve him with my shape, fellowship with his family, grow like him in character, and fulfill his mission in the world so he receives glory.”
“My life purpose is to be a member of Christ’s family, a model of his character, a minister of his grace, a messenger of his word, and a magnifier of his glory.”
“My life purpose is to love Christ, grow in Christ, share Christ, and serve Christ through his church, and to lead my family and others to do the same.”
“My life purpose is to make a great commitment to the Great Commandment and the Great Commission.”
“My goal is Christlikeness; my family is the church; my ministry is (blank); my mission is (blank); my motive is the glory of God.”
The Bible says, “Our purpose is to please God, not people.”
The Bible says, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” Imagine what it is going to be like one day, with all of us standing before the throne of God presenting our lives in deep gratitude and praise to Christ.
We are fascinated with how others look, act, talk, and live. We notice what they wear, what they do, and what they have. There is nothing wrong with this, especially if you can appreciate the limitless variety of people God chose to create instead of making all exactly alike. It only becomes a problem when we resent how God made others, reject how he made us, and start envying what they have. Envy is a trap. In today’s world, where technology allows us to see how everyone else is living, envy may be the most common reason people miss God’s unique plan for their lives.
The worst part of envy is that it’s an insult to God! Every time you wish you were someone else, have what they have, or do what they do, you are saying, “God, you made a huge mistake with me! You could have done better. You could have made me like that person, but you didn’t!
Envy is such a destructive attitude that God outlawed it in the Ten Commandments. The last commandment says, “You shall not covet!” Coveting is another word for envy.
James 3:16 also says that envy is a source of “every evil practice.”
If you would like to increase the amount of happiness you experience in life, here is one of the secrets: learn to enjoy the successes and joys of others. If you are only happy when good things happen to you, then you will be unhappy for much of your life, since no one experiences only good things. But if you learn to enjoy other people’s victories too, you will always have something to be happy about. Be grateful for who you are and whatever you have.
Let me be clear: Having ambitious dreams, a desire to be better, and faith goals are all good things, if they come from God, benefit others, and are pursued in faith for his glory. You should want to make the most of your life, create beauty, and help others. But envy poisons everything it touches and prevents God’s blessing on your efforts. Why you do what you do matters the most to God.
The next time you start to rant about God’s unfairness to you, remind yourself of these facts: 1. Everything I have is an undeserved gift from God. I wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for God’s grace. The next breath of air I take is a gift of God. 2. I don’t know what God knows and I can’t see what God sees, so I should trust him. 3. Life on earth is unfair because of sin, not because of God. Our rebellion against God has broken everything on the planet. This isn’t heaven, where everything works perfectly. Nothing works perfectly here. 4. God sent Jesus to save us from the judgment day when he will balance the books, right all wrongs, and administer justice. 5. It was not fair for Jesus to die in my place for my sins. But he did.
In Matthew 20, Jesus told the story of a landowner who hired several men at different times of the day to work in his field. At the end of the day, the landowner unexpectedly paid all of them the same amount for their work. Obviously this didn’t bother the last-minute hires, but the men who had worked all day complained loudly that the landowner was being unfair. They said, “These last workers put in only one easy hour, and you just made them equal to us, who slaved all day under a scorching sun!” I love the landowner’s reply: “Friend, I didn’t cheat you. I paid you exactly what we agreed on. Take your money now and go! What business is it of yours if I want to pay them the same that I paid you? Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Why should you be jealous, if I want to be generous?” I love the landowner’s frankness: “Take what is yours and go your way!”
There is nothing wrong with our desire to be accepted, appreciated, and approved by other people. In fact, without the affirmation of others we never fully blossom into our full potential.
But as with all of the healthy and good desires God puts in our hearts, the desire for approval can be misused, abused, and confused. It can become an obsession that dominates our life and a fear that destroys our soul.
After talking with people living in over a hundred different countries, I have come to believe that fear of being criticized or rejected by others is the most common reason people get detoured from the path God planned for them. I believe it is Satan’s favorite tool to distract you. Once you know what you were created to do, he whispers, “But what will other people think?” What if they dislike the changes you make? What if they criticize what you say or do? What if they make fun of what you believe?
Peer pressures — whether at school, at work, in our neighborhood — is rooted in the fear of disapproval or rejection. When schools or businesses or governments use “political correctness” to stifle our God-given freedom to speak and live our conscience, they prey on this fear.
Of course, the Bible repeatedly commands us to be considerate of other’s feelings. In matters of behavior where God allows great freedom, “We may know that these things make no difference, but we cannot just go ahead and do them to please ourselves. We must be considerate of the doubts and fears of those who think these things are wrong.” It is unloving to ignore how our choices affect others.
But the Bible also warns us not to let the fear of disapproval keep us from doing what we know God wants us to do. Proverbs 29:25 says, “It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you.”
The Bible says, “Too much honey is bad for you, and so is trying to win too much praise.”
The fear of disapproval keeps me from taking risks in faith. Without risk-taking, my faith cannot be stretched and developed. Many people never even take the first step to faith in Christ because they fear their friends or family will disapprove or look down on them. That is a fatal mistake. The Bible says, “You try to get praise from each other, but you do not try to get the praise that comes from the only God.
When the opinions of others loom large in your life, God’s role in your life is reduced. But when God’s approval matters most to you, the views of others lose their grip on your life. Whose opinion matters most to you? Whoever that person is, is your god. When you value anyone’s opinions more than God’s, you give that person power and authority that belongs only to God. That creates all kinds of insecurity within you. On the other hand, when God’s approval matters the most to you, it sets you free from insecurity, because he will never reject you.
Scripture is filled with examples of people who did wrong because they gave in to peer pressure: Reuben agreed to sell Joseph, his younger brother, into slavery because the other brothers pressured him. Aaron built a golden idol to worship when the people pressured him. Samson broke his vow to God when his girlfriend pressured him. Peter denied knowing Jesus when he feared what others might say. And Pilate, even though he knew Jesus had done nothing worthy of punishment, allowed Jesus to be crucified because he feared the disapproval of the crowd.
Friends who discourage your walk with God are not true friends. “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning.”
If you fall into the trap of people-pleasing, you hide your true self, afraid that you will be rejected. You will compromise your convictions in order to be socially acceptable and politically correct. Jesus was referring to this kind of hypocrisy when he told the Pharisees, “You are always making yourselves look good, but God sees what is in your heart.
How do we break out of the people-pleaser prison? Well, since this prison is mental, not physical, the solution is to change the way we think. The Bible word for this mental shift is repentance. We break free from the pressure to conform by having our thoughts transformed by God: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” So what does God use to transform our minds? The answer is truth! Cultural lies conform us, but eternal truths transform us. Jesus famously said, “The truth will set you free.” Here are six truths to remember the next time you are tempted to give in to peer pressure. Remember that even God can’t please everyone! at every sporting event, fans on each side pray for their team to win. In every election, voters in each party pray that their candidates will win. Someone is always disappointed! Some days farmers are praying for rain while children are praying for sunshine.
Jesus said, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you!”
As a pastor, I have talked to thousands of people who have invested much of their time and energy in trying to please an unappeasable person, most often a parent or other family member.
Stop wasting emotional energy on something that is never going to happen and something that isn’t necessary for you to be happy. They are miserable, but you don’t have to be. There is no sane reason for both of you to be miserable!
The Bible says, “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”
Can you remember the people whose opinions mattered the most to you in high school? How important are those people’s opinions of you today? It’s probable that they don’t matter at all today. What seemed so important then is now irrelevant. People-pleasing is always a short-term thinking activity. The benefits never last.
The first two of the Ten Commandments are (1) “you must not have any other god but me,” and (2) “you shall not make for yourself an idol of any kind.” An idol is anything I put first in my life before God. If someone’s approval matters more to me than God’s, then that person has become an idol in my life.
Remember, one day you will give an account to him, and Jesus has said, “If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory.” Will Jesus be ashamed of you one day because you were ashamed of him?
This is the final truth to hold on to. Earlier in this book I mentioned that when you get to heaven, God isn’t going to say, “Why weren’t you more like your brother or your mother or father?” God isn’t going to ask, “Were you popular? Did everyone like you, and did you fulfill all their expectations?” No. God is going to say, “Did you fulfill the purpose I created you for?”