The Purpose Driven Life

A Journey with Purpose

This is more than a book; it is a guide to a 40-day spiritual journey that will enable you to discover the answer to life’s most important question: What on earth am I here for? By the end of this journey you will know God’s purpose for your life and will understand the big picture — how all the pieces fit together. Having this perspective will reduce your stress, simplify your decisions, increase your satisfaction, and, most important, prepare you for eternity.

Today the average life spans 25,550 days. Setting aside 40 of them to figure out what God wants you to do with the rest is a wise investment. And the pattern is woven through Scripture: whenever God wanted to prepare someone for his purposes, he took 40 days. Noah’s life was transformed by 40 days of rain. Moses was transformed by 40 days on Mount Sinai. The spies were transformed by 40 days in the Promised Land. David was transformed by Goliath’s 40-day challenge. Elijah was given 40 days of strength from a single meal. The entire city of Nineveh was transformed when God gave the people 40 days to change. Jesus was empowered by 40 days in the wilderness. The disciples were transformed by 40 days with the risen Christ.

That kind of transformation isn’t found in chasing achievement or accumulating more. It comes from being rooted in what lasts:

A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.

Proverbs 11:28

Day 1 — It All Starts with God

The search for the purpose of life has puzzled people for thousands of years. That’s because we typically begin at the wrong starting point — ourselves. We ask self-centered questions like “What do I want to be?” and “What are my dreams for my future?” But focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life’s purpose. You didn’t create yourself, so there is no way you can tell yourself what you were created for. If you were handed an invention you had never seen before, you wouldn’t know its purpose, and the invention itself wouldn’t be able to tell you either. Only the creator or the owner’s manual could reveal its purpose. The easiest way to discover the purpose of an invention is to ask the creator of it. The same is true for your life.

You exist only because God wills that you exist. You were made by God and for God — and until you understand that, life will never make sense. It is only in God that we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance, and our destiny. Every other path leads to a dead end. Life is about letting God use you for his purposes, not your using him for your own. You could reach all your personal goals, become a raving success by the world’s standard, and still miss the purposes for which God created you. Self-help is not enough. Self-sacrifice, Jesus says, is the way to finding yourself, your true self.

God has not left us in the dark to wonder and guess. He has clearly revealed his five purposes for our lives through the Bible. And you don’t get to choose your purpose — it fits into a much larger, cosmic purpose that God has designed for eternity. Paul captured the whole of it in a single sentence:

For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.

Colossians 1:16

Day 2 — You Are Not an Accident

Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God. It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment. God himself says it plainly: “I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born” (Isaiah 44:2). You are alive because God wanted to create you. The Bible says God saw you before you were born and scheduled each day of your life before you began to breathe — every day was recorded in his Book.

The parents you had were the ones God chose. No matter how you may feel, they were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind. Whatever trauma you faced, though God wept that it hurt you, it was allowed to shape your heart — so that into his likeness you would grow. You are who you are, beloved, because there is a God.

Day 3 — What Drives Your Life?

There are hundreds of circumstances, values, and emotions that can drive your life, and most of them lead nowhere good — the Bible names the first one bluntly: “the basic motive for success is the driving force of envy and jealousy” (Ecclesiastes 4:4). Guilt-driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future, often unconsciously punishing themselves by sabotaging their own success. When Cain sinned, his guilt disconnected him from God’s presence, and God said he would be a restless wanderer on the earth — a description that fits most people today, wandering through life without a purpose. But we are products of our past, not prisoners of it. God’s purpose is not limited by your past. He turned a murderer named Moses into a leader and a coward named Gideon into a courageous hero. God specializes in giving people a fresh start.

Resentment and anger drive others. They hold on to hurts and never get over them, rehearsing their pain over and over instead of releasing it through forgiveness. Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent. Fear drives still others — a fearful life, fear of death, fear of judgment, is one not yet fully formed in love. Well-formed love banishes fear, and the weapons against it are faith and love. Materialism drives many more. The drive to always want more is built on the misconceptions that having more will make you happier, more important, or more secure — but all three ideas are untrue. Possessions provide only temporary happiness. Because things do not change, we eventually become bored with them and want newer, bigger, better versions. And the need for approval drives more people than most will admit. They allow the expectations of parents, spouses, children, teachers, or friends to control their lives. Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. One key to failure is to try to please everyone.

Without a purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose. Living a purpose-driven life brings five great benefits. Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life — when life has meaning, you can bear almost anything; without it, nothing is bearable. It simplifies your life by defining what you do and what you don’t do; you simply ask, “Does this activity help me fulfill one of God’s purposes for my life?” It focuses your effort and energy on what’s important — diffused light has little power, but focused through a magnifying glass it can set grass on fire, and as a laser beam it can cut through steel. The apostle Paul almost single-handedly spread Christianity throughout the Roman Empire, and his secret was a focused life: “I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” Purpose also motivates your life — nothing energizes like a clear purpose — and it prepares you for eternity.

Many people spend their lives trying to create a lasting legacy on earth. But all achievements are eventually surpassed, records broken, reputations faded, and tributes forgotten. What ultimately matters most will not be what others say about your life, but what God says. One day you will stand before God, and he will ask two crucial questions. First: “What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ?” — did you accept what Jesus did for you and learn to love and trust him? Second: “What did you do with what I gave you?” — all the gifts, talents, opportunities, energy, relationships, and resources God gave you — did you spend them on yourself, or did you use them for the purposes God made you for? The first question determines where you spend eternity. The second determines what you do in eternity.

Day 4 — Made to Last Forever

Life on earth is just the dress rehearsal before the real production. You will spend far more time on the other side of death than you will here. Earth is the staging area, the preschool, the tryout for your life in eternity — the practice workout before the actual game, the warm-up lap before the race begins. This life is preparation for the next. The Bible calls your earthly body a “tent,” but refers to your future body as a “house.” When this tent we live in — our body here on earth — is torn down, God will have a house in heaven for us to live in, a home he himself has made, which will last forever.

The closer you live to God, the smaller everything else appears. When you live in light of eternity, your values change. You use your time and money more wisely. You place a higher premium on relationships and character instead of fame or wealth or achievements or even fun. Keeping up with trends, fashions, and popular values just doesn’t matter as much anymore. Only a fool would go through life unprepared for what we all know will eventually happen. It ought to be the business of every day to prepare for our final day.

Day 5 — Seeing Life from God’s View

The Bible offers three metaphors that teach us God’s view of life and form the foundation of purpose-driven living: life is a test, life is a trust, and life is a temporary assignment.

God continually tests people’s character, faith, obedience, love, integrity, and loyalty. Words like trials, temptations, refining, and testing occur more than two hundred times in the Bible. Character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test. God constantly watches your response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, disappointment, and even the weather. He even watches the simplest actions — when you open a door for others, when you pick up a piece of trash, when you are polite to a clerk or a waitress. You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism, and even senseless tragedies. A very important test is how you act when you can’t feel God’s presence. God sometimes intentionally draws back to see what is really in your heart. When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant. Some tests seem overwhelming; others you don’t even notice — but all of them have eternal implications. James says, “Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. When they pass the test, they will receive the crown of life.”

Our time on earth and our energy, intelligence, opportunities, relationships, and resources are all gifts from God entrusted to our care and management. We are stewards of whatever God gives us. This concept of stewardship begins with the recognition that God is the owner of everything and everyone on earth. The first job God gave humans was to manage and take care of his creation, and that role has never been rescinded — it is part of our purpose today. In the parable of the talents, a businessman entrusts his wealth to the care of his servants while he’s away, then evaluates each servant’s faithfulness and rewards them accordingly: “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.” Most people fail to realize that money is both a test and a trust from God. God uses finances to teach us to trust him — for many people, money is the greatest test of all. The Bible warns: “If you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven?” And Jesus adds: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded.”

Seeing life this way isn’t a small adjustment — it requires a complete rewiring of the mind. Paul named exactly that:

Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God.

Romans 12:2

Day 6 — Life Is a Temporary Assignment

Life is described in the Bible as a mist, a fast runner, a breath, and a wisp of smoke. Repeatedly the Bible compares life on earth to temporarily living in a foreign country. This is not your permanent home or final destination — you’re just passing through, just visiting earth. The Bible uses terms like alien, pilgrim, foreigner, stranger, visitor, and traveler to describe our brief stay.

The fact that earth is not our ultimate home explains why, as followers of Jesus, we experience difficulty, sorrow, and rejection in this world. It also explains why some of God’s promises seem unfulfilled, some prayers seem unanswered, and some circumstances seem unfair. This is not the end of the story. A fish would never be happy living on land, because it was made for water. An eagle could never feel satisfied if it wasn’t allowed to fly. You will never feel completely satisfied on earth, because you were made for more. You will not be in heaven two seconds before you cry out: “Why did I place so much importance on things that were so temporary? What was I thinking? Why did I waste so much time, energy, and concern on what wasn’t going to last?”

That future clarity is something David chose to carry now:

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away.

Psalm 39:4

Day 7 — The Reason for Everything

Throughout history, God has revealed his glory to people in different settings — first in the garden of Eden, then to Moses, then in the tabernacle and the temple, then through Jesus, and now through the church. It was portrayed as a consuming fire, a cloud, thunder, smoke, and a brilliant light. God says, “They are my own people, and I created them to bring me glory,” and so bringing God glory ought to be the supreme goal of our lives. Jesus honored God by fulfilling his purpose on earth. We honor God the same way. When anything in creation fulfills its purpose, it brings glory to God.

We bring God glory by worshiping him — and worship is far more than praising, singing, and praying. It is a lifestyle of enjoying God, loving him, and giving ourselves to be used for his purposes. As John Piper notes, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.” When you use your life for God’s glory, everything you do can become an act of worship. We bring God glory by loving other believers — our love for each other proves that we have gone from death to life, and when we come together across different backgrounds and circumstances, it is a powerful witness to the world. We bring God glory by becoming like Christ — spiritual maturity is becoming like Jesus in the way we think, feel, and act, and the more you develop Christlike character, the more you will bring glory to God. We bring God glory by serving others with our gifts — each of us was uniquely designed by God with talents, gifts, skills, and abilities, and the way you’re wired is not an accident. And we bring God glory by telling others about him — God doesn’t want his love and purposes kept a secret, and once we know the truth, he expects us to share it, introducing others to Jesus and helping them discover their purpose.

Living the rest of your life for the glory of God will require a change in your priorities, your schedule, your relationships, and everything else.

Purpose One — You Were Planned for God’s Pleasure

Day 8 — Planned for God’s Pleasure

One of the greatest gifts God has given you is the ability to enjoy pleasure. He wired you with five senses and emotions so you can experience it. He wants you to enjoy life, not just endure it. The reason you are able to enjoy pleasure is that God made you in his image — and God himself has emotions. He feels things very deeply. The Bible tells us that God grieves, gets jealous and angry, and feels compassion, pity, sorrow, and sympathy, as well as happiness, gladness, and satisfaction. God loves, delights, gets pleasure, rejoices, enjoys, and even laughs.

Worship is our first response to this God — and worship is far more than music. Adam worshiped in the garden of Eden, but music isn’t mentioned until Genesis 4:21. If worship were just music, all who are nonmusical could never worship. More importantly, worship is not for your benefit. When we worship, our goal is to bring pleasure to God, not to ourselves. If you have ever said, “I didn’t get anything out of worship today,” you worshiped for the wrong reason. Worship is not a part of your life; it is your life. We are told to worship God continually and to praise him from sunrise to sunset. In the Bible, people praised God at work, at home, in battle, in jail, and even in bed. Praise should be the first activity when you open your eyes in the morning and the last activity when you close them at night.

The secret to a lifestyle of worship is doing everything as if you were doing it for Jesus. Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering. Work becomes worship when you dedicate it to God and perform it with an awareness of his presence. Every activity can be transformed into an act of worship when you do it for the praise, glory, and pleasure of God.

And it was never an afterthought. The very design of creation has your delight in God built into it:

You created everything, and it is for your pleasure that they exist and were created.

Revelation 4:11

Day 9 — What Makes God Smile?

The Bible says Noah was a pleasure to the Lord — and because Noah brought pleasure to God, you and I are alive today. From his life we learn the acts of worship that make God smile. God smiles when we love him supremely. Noah loved God more than anything else in the world, even when no one else did. For his entire life, he consistently followed God’s will and enjoyed a close relationship with him. The most astounding truth in the universe is that our Creator wants to fellowship with us. God made you to love you, and he longs for you to love him back. He says, “I don’t want your sacrifices — I want your love; I don’t want your offerings — I want you to know me.” Jesus called it the greatest commandment: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”

God smiles when we trust him completely. Noah trusted God even when it didn’t make sense — he built a ship in the middle of dry land, warned about something he couldn’t see, and acted on what he was told. The Bible says God takes pleasure in those who honor him, in those who trust in his constant love. Without faith it is impossible to please God. God doesn’t owe you an explanation or reason for everything he asks you to do. Understanding can wait, but obedience can’t. Instant obedience will teach you more about God than a lifetime of Bible discussions. In fact, you will never understand some commands until you obey them first — obedience unlocks understanding.

God smiles when we obey him wholeheartedly. We make a list of the commands we like and obey those while ignoring the ones we think are unreasonable, difficult, expensive, or unpopular. But partial obedience is disobedience. The Bible says to obey God gladly. Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey my commandments.” God smiles when we praise and thank him continually — using the very humanity he designed for us. After the Flood, God gave Noah simple instructions: be fruitful, fill the earth, eat, make love, raise families, plant crops. God was saying, “Get on with your life! Do the things I designed humans to do.” Anytime you reject any part of yourself, you are rejecting God’s wisdom and sovereignty in creating you. When you live in light of eternity, your focus changes from “How much pleasure am I getting out of life?” to “How much pleasure is God getting out of my life?”

It was the prayer of the ancient blessing, spoken over God’s people generation after generation:

May the LORD smile on you. Smile on me, your servant; teach me the right way to live.

Numbers 6:25; Psalm 119:135

Day 10 — The Heart of Worship

Surrender is an unpopular word, disliked almost as much as submission. It implies losing, and no one wants to be a loser. But after spending eleven chapters of Romans explaining God’s incredible grace, Paul urges us to fully surrender our lives to God in worship: “So then, my friends, because of God’s great mercy to us — offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer.” This act of personal surrender is called by many names: consecration, making Jesus your Lord, taking up your cross, dying to self, yielding to the Spirit. What matters is that you do it, not what you call it. God wants your life — all of it. Ninety-five percent is not enough.

Three barriers block our total surrender. Fear keeps many from surrendering because we don’t realize how much God loves us. You won’t surrender to God unless you trust him, but you can’t trust him until you know him better. Love casts out all fear — the more you realize how much God loves you, the easier surrender becomes. He gives you many evidences: he says he loves you; you’re never out of his sight; he cares about every detail of your life; he gave you the capacity to enjoy pleasure; he has good plans for your life; he forgives you; he is patiently committed to you. Pride is the second barrier — the desire for complete control, the oldest temptation. Life is a struggle, but what most people don’t realize is that our struggle, like Jacob’s, is really a struggle with God. A. W. Tozer said, “The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves.” Confusion about what surrender means is the third barrier. Surrendering to God is not passive resignation, fatalism, or an excuse for laziness. It may mean the exact opposite — sacrificing your life or suffering in order to change what needs to be changed. God often calls surrendered people to do battle on his behalf.

Surrendered hearts show up best in relationships — you don’t edge others out, you don’t demand your rights, and you aren’t self-serving. For many people, the most difficult area to surrender is money. Jesus said, “You cannot serve both God and money” and “Wherever your treasure is, your heart will be also.” Victory comes through surrender. William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, said, “The greatness of a man’s power is in the measure of his surrender.”

Surrendering is never a one-time event. Paul said, “I die daily.” There is a moment of surrender, and there is the practice of surrender, which is moment-by-moment and lifelong. The problem with a living sacrifice is that it can crawl off the altar, so you may have to resurrender your life fifty times a day. Jesus said, “If people want to follow me, they must give up the things they want. They must be willing to give up their lives daily to follow me.”

Day 11 — Becoming Best Friends with God

Your relationship to God has many different aspects: God is your Creator and Maker, Lord and Master, Judge, Redeemer, Father, Savior, and much more. But the most shocking truth is this: Almighty God yearns to be your Friend. In Eden we see God’s ideal relationship with us — Adam and Eve enjoyed an intimate friendship with God. There were no rituals, ceremonies, or religion, just a simple loving relationship between God and the people he created.

After the Fall, that ideal relationship was lost. Only a few people in the Old Testament had the privilege of friendship with God: Moses and Abraham were called “friends of God,” David was called “a man after God’s own heart,” and Job, Enoch, and Noah had intimate friendships with him. But fear of God, not friendship, was more common in the Old Testament. Unlike the Old Testament priests who spent hours preparing to meet him, we can now approach God anytime. The Bible says, “Now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God — all because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God.”

Jesus said, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” The word for friend in this verse does not mean a casual acquaintance — it refers to a close, trusted relationship, the same word used for a king’s inner circle of intimate counselors. Knowing and loving God is our greatest privilege, and being known and loved is God’s greatest pleasure. God says, “If any want to boast, they should boast that they know and understand me. These are the things that please me.”

You will never grow a close relationship with God by just attending church once a week or even having a daily quiet time. Friendship with God is built by sharing all your life experiences with him. Praying without ceasing means conversing with God while shopping, driving, working, or performing any other everyday task. Brother Lawrence, a seventeenth-century cook in a French monastery, learned to turn even the most commonplace tasks into acts of praise and communion with God. The key to friendship with God, he said, is not changing what you do, but changing your attitude toward what you do. What you normally do for yourself you begin doing for God, whether it is eating, bathing, working, relaxing, or taking out the trash. He also recommended shorter conversational prayers throughout the day rather than long, complex prayer sessions — “breath prayers” repeated through the day: “You are with me.” “I receive your grace.” “I’m depending on you.” “I belong to you.”

A second way to establish friendship with God is by thinking about his Word throughout your day. When you think about a problem over and over in your mind, that’s worry. When you think about God’s Word over and over in your mind, that’s meditation. If you know how to worry, you already know how to meditate — you just need to switch your attention from your problems to Bible verses. Prayer lets you speak to God; meditation lets God speak to you. Both are essential to becoming a friend of God.

Day 12 — Developing Your Friendship with God

Because of God’s grace, Jesus is still the “friend of sinners.” In the Bible, the friends of God were honest about their feelings — often complaining, second-guessing, accusing, and arguing with their Creator. God, however, didn’t seem bothered by this frankness; in fact, he encouraged it. God allowed Abraham to challenge him over the destruction of Sodom, negotiating the terms down from fifty righteous people to only ten. He listened patiently to David’s many accusations of unfairness, betrayal, and abandonment. He did not slay Jeremiah when he claimed God had tricked him. Job was allowed to vent his bitterness during his ordeal — and in the end, God defended Job for being honest while rebuking Job’s friends for being inauthentic. Expressing doubt is sometimes the first step toward the next level of intimacy with God.

The truth is that you are as close to God as you choose to be. Intimate friendship with God is a choice, not an accident. You must intentionally seek it. And pain is often what drives you there. C. S. Lewis said, “Pain is God’s megaphone.” It is his way of arousing us from spiritual lethargy. Your problems are not punishment — they are wake-up calls from a loving God.

Day 13 — Worship That Pleases God

God doesn’t want a part of your life. He asks for all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. He is not interested in halfhearted commitment, partial obedience, or the leftovers of your time and money. The kind of worship that pleases God has four characteristics. It is accurate — to worship in truth means to worship God as he is truly revealed in the Bible, not a version shaped by preference. It is authentic — heartless praise is not praise at all. When we worship, God looks past our words to see the attitude of our hearts. It is thoughtful — your biggest distraction in worship is yourself, your interests and your worry over what others think. And it is sacrificial, because real worship costs something.

People draw near to God in different ways. Some are most inspired out-of-doors, in natural settings. Others love God with their senses and appreciate worship that engages sight, taste, smell, and touch, not just hearing. Some draw closer through rituals, liturgies, and unchanging structures. Some prefer solitude and simplicity. Others love God through confronting evil and battling injustice. Some love God by loving and meeting the needs of others. Some through celebration. Some through adoration. Some by studying with their minds. God has wired you in a particular way, and the style of worship that connects you to him most deeply is not an accident.

In praise, be specific. If someone approached you and simply repeated “I praise you!” ten times, you would think, For what? Two specific compliments mean more than twenty vague generalities — and so it is with God. His names are not arbitrary; they tell us about different aspects of his character, and meditating on them is one of the richest forms of worship. In the Old Testament, God took pleasure in the sacrifices of worship because they foretold Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross. Now God is pleased with different sacrifices of worship: thanksgiving, praise, humility, repentance, offerings of money, prayer, serving others, and sharing with those in need. Real worship costs. David said, “I will not offer to the Lord my God sacrifices that have cost me nothing.” When you praise God even when you don’t feel like it, when you get out of bed to worship when you’re tired, or when you help others when you are worn out, you are offering a sacrifice of worship to God. That pleases him.

Day 14 — When God Seems Distant

The deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when he seems distant. Besides Jesus, David probably had the closest friendship with God of anyone. God took pleasure in calling him “a man after my own heart.” Yet David frequently complained of God’s apparent absence: “Lord, why are you standing aloof and far away? Why do you hide when I need you the most?” God hadn’t really left David, and he doesn’t leave you. He has promised repeatedly, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” But he has not promised “you will always feel my presence.” In fact, God admits that sometimes he hides his face from us.

Often this feeling of abandonment has nothing to do with sin. It is a test of faith — one we all must face: will you continue to love, trust, obey, and worship God, even when you have no sense of his presence or visible evidence of his work in your life? When Job’s life fell apart and God was silent, Job still found things he could praise God for: that God is good and loving, that he is all-powerful, that he notices every detail of my life, that he is in control, that he has a plan for my life, and that he will save me. This is the worship that reaches the deepest — not the worship of favorable circumstances, but the worship of a soul that has learned to trust when it cannot see.

Purpose Two — You Were Formed for God’s Family

Day 15 — Formed for God’s Family

Because God is love, he treasures relationships. His very nature is relational, and he identifies himself in family terms: Father, Son, and Spirit. God planned for you to be a part of his family from before creation, and his invitation is extended through the gospel. One day, if you are in Christ, you will get to be with God forever, completely changed to be like Christ, freed from all pain, death, and suffering, rewarded and given positions of service, and invited to share in Christ’s glory. Your eternal inheritance is priceless, pure, permanent, and protected. No one can take it from you; it can’t be destroyed by war, a poor economy, or a natural disaster. This eternal inheritance — not retirement — is what you should be working toward.

Baptism is pregnant with meaning precisely because it symbolizes this second purpose: participating in the fellowship of God’s eternal family. Your baptism declares your faith, shares in Christ’s burial and resurrection, symbolizes your death to your old life, and announces your new life in Christ. It is also a celebration of your inclusion in God’s family — a physical picture of a spiritual truth. Whenever you feel unimportant, unloved, or insecure, remember to whom you belong.

Day 16 — What Matters Most

Paul was blunt about it: “No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love” (1 Corinthians 13:3). Learning to love unselfishly is not an easy task. It runs counter to our self-centered nature. That’s why we are given a lifetime to learn it. Peter tells us, “Show special love for God’s people.” Paul echoes this: “When we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.” God wants his family to be known for its love more than anything else. Jesus said, “Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” Love should be your top priority, primary objective, and greatest ambition. It is not enough to say, “One of the things I want in life is to be loving.” Relationships must have priority in your life above everything else.

Four of the Ten Commandments deal with our relationship to God; the other six deal with our relationships with people. But all ten are about relationships. Later, Jesus summarized what matters most to God in two statements — love God and love people — and said everything else hangs on these two. Busyness is a great enemy of relationships. We become preoccupied with making a living, doing our work, paying bills, and accomplishing goals as if these tasks were the point of life. But when life on earth is ending, people don’t surround themselves with objects. What we want around us is people — people we love and have relationships with. Wisdom is learning that truth sooner rather than later.

One of the ways God measures spiritual maturity is by the quality of your relationships. In heaven God won’t say, “Tell me about your career, your bank account, and your hobbies.” He will review how you treated other people, particularly those in need. Jesus said, “Just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” When you transfer into eternity, you will leave everything else behind. All you’re taking with you is your character. That’s why the Bible says, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”

The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate — it is focused attention. Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment. Attention says, “I value you enough to give you my most precious asset — my time.” You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. “God so loved the world that he gave.” Love means giving up — yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit of someone else. The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.

Day 17 — A Place to Belong

We are created for community, fashioned for fellowship, and formed for a family. While your relationship to Christ is personal, God never intends it to be private. In God’s family you are connected to every other believer, and we will belong to each other for eternity. The Bible says, “In Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” Following Christ includes belonging, not just believing.

In churches, membership is often reduced to simply adding your name to a roll. But to Paul, being a “member” of the church meant being a vital organ of a living body — an indispensable, interconnected part of the Body of Christ. The church is a body, not a building. The first symptom of spiritual decline is usually inconsistent attendance at worship and other gatherings of believers. Whenever we become careless about fellowship, everything else begins to slide too. The Bible calls the church “the bride of Christ” and “the body of Christ.” Today’s culture of independent individualism has created many spiritual orphans — people who hop from one church to another without any identity, accountability, or commitment. A church family identifies you as a genuine believer. You are not the Body of Christ on your own. Together, not separated, we are his Body.

You will never grow to maturity just by attending worship services as a passive spectator. Only participation in the full life of a local church builds spiritual muscle. The Bible says, “As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” Over fifty times in the New Testament, the phrase “one another” or “each other” appears. We are commanded to love each other, pray for each other, encourage each other, admonish each other, greet each other, serve each other, teach each other, accept each other, honor each other, bear each other’s burdens, forgive each other, submit to each other, and be devoted to each other. These are your family responsibilities that God expects you to fulfill through a local fellowship. The difference between being a church attender and a church member is commitment. Attenders are consumers; members are contributors. God wants you to love real people, not ideal people. You will never find the perfect church — and you shouldn’t be looking for one, because you’re not perfect either.

Day 18 — Experiencing Life Together

Jesus ministered in the context of a small group of disciples. He could have chosen more, but he knew that twelve is about the maximum size you can have if everyone is to participate. Real fellowship involves authenticity — not superficial, surface-level chitchat, but genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level sharing. It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer. The Bible says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.”

Real fellowship also requires sympathy — not giving advice or offering quick, cosmetic help, but entering in and sharing the pain of others. Sympathy meets two fundamental human needs: the need to be understood and the need to have your feelings validated. We are often in such a hurry to fix things that we don’t have time to sympathize with people, or we’re preoccupied with our own hurts. There are different levels of fellowship. The simplest are sharing and studying God’s Word together. A deeper level is serving together on mission trips or mercy projects. The deepest, most intense level is the fellowship of suffering — where we enter into each other’s pain and grief and carry each other’s burdens. In times of deep crisis, we need a small group of friends who will have faith in God for us and pull us through.

You can’t have fellowship without forgiveness. God warns, “Never hold grudges,” because bitterness and resentment always destroy fellowship. “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time. If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to keep allowing them to hurt you.

Day 19 — Cultivating Community

Solomon said, “An honest answer is a sign of true friendship.” Many church fellowships and small groups remain superficial because they are afraid of conflict. Whenever an issue pops up that might cause tension or discomfort, it is immediately glossed over to preserve a false sense of peace. But real community requires honesty — speaking the truth in love. Every group includes at least one difficult person, usually more. These people may have special emotional needs, deep insecurities, irritating mannerisms, or poor social skills. Rather than writing them off, God calls us to be interested in their lives, not only our own.

Community also takes frequency. You must have regular, consistent contact with your group to build genuine fellowship. The first Christians met together every day — worshiping at the temple, meeting in homes for communion, sharing meals with joy and thankfulness. Fellowship requires an investment of time, and that investment is almost always worth making. The marks of a group committed to genuine community include shared authenticity, mutual encouragement, active sympathy, a culture of forgiveness, honest speech in love, practiced humility, courtesy toward differences, the discipline of confidentiality, and the priority of frequency. These are not ideals for an advanced group — they are the baseline of what biblical fellowship actually is.

Day 20 — Restoring Broken Fellowship

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who work for peace” — those who actively seek to resolve conflict. Peacemakers are rare because peacemaking is hard work. The first step is to talk to God before talking to the person. If you will pray about a conflict first instead of gossiping to a friend, you will often discover that either God changes your heart or he changes the other person without your help. Most conflict is rooted in unmet needs, and some of those needs can only be met by God. James noted that many of our conflicts are caused by prayerlessness: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? You want something but don’t get it. You do not have, because you do not ask God.”

Always take the initiative. It doesn’t matter whether you are the offender or the offended — God expects you to make the first move. Don’t wait for the other party. When you do meet, choose the right time and place: not when either of you are tired or rushed or will be interrupted. Begin by admitting your own mistakes or sin. Jesus said to get the log out of your own eye first; only then can you see clearly enough to help the other person. Ask God to show you how much of the problem is your fault. The honest answer is usually more than you’d like.

How you say it is as important as what you say. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. Destroy your arsenal of relational nuclear weapons — condemning, belittling, comparing, labeling, insulting, condescending, and being sarcastic. Paul says, “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed.” Finally, emphasize reconciliation, not resolution. It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem often loses significance and becomes irrelevant. We can reestablish a relationship even when we are unable to resolve our differences. God expects unity, not uniformity, and we can walk arm-in-arm without seeing eye-to-eye on every issue.

Day 21 — Protecting Your Church

Nothing on earth is more valuable to God than his church. He paid the highest price for it, and he wants it protected — especially from the devastating damage caused by division, conflict, and disharmony. The first protection is focus: concentrate on what we have in common, not our differences. Paul says, “Let us concentrate on the things which make for harmony, and on the growth of one another’s character.” God tells us to be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of love. If a church must be perfect to satisfy you, that same perfection will exclude you from membership, because you’re not perfect. The sooner we give up the illusion that a church must be perfect in order to love it, the sooner we quit pretending and start admitting that we all need grace — and that is the beginning of real community.

Whenever you judge another believer, four things happen instantly: you lose fellowship with God, you expose your own pride and insecurity, you set yourself up to be judged by God, and you harm the fellowship of the church. A critical spirit is a costly vice. Spreading gossip is wrong, but so is listening to it — accepting gossip makes you just as guilty of the crime. When a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him privately first. Private confrontation is always the first step, and you should take it as soon as possible. Only if that fails do you bring others in. The instinct to complain to a third party rather than speak the truth in love to the person you’re upset with makes every conflict worse. Real protection of a community is built one honest, humble, loving conversation at a time.

Paul named both the source of protection and the goal it produces:

Most of all, let love guide your life, for then the whole church will stay together in perfect harmony.

Colossians 3:14

Purpose Three — You Were Created to Become Like Christ

Day 22 — Created to Become Like Christ

From the very beginning, God’s plan has been to make you like his Son. This is your destiny and the third purpose of your life. God announced this intention at Creation itself: “Let us make human beings in our image and likeness.” The desire to be a god — to control your circumstances, your future, the people around you — is the oldest distortion of that design. But as creatures, you will never be the Creator. God doesn’t want you to become a god; he wants you to become godly, taking on his values, his attitudes, his character. The Bible calls it “an entirely new way of life — a God-fashioned life, renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.”

God’s ultimate goal for your life on earth is not comfort, but character development. Christlikeness does not mean losing your personality or becoming a mindless clone — God created your uniqueness, and he has no intention of destroying it. What he wants to transform is your character: the way you love, the way you respond to pain, the way you treat people who can do nothing for you. The qualities he is after are the ones described in the Beatitudes, the fruit of the Spirit, Paul’s great chapter on love, and Peter’s list of an effective and productive life. Every time you forget that character is one of God’s purposes for your life, your circumstances will frustrate you. You’ll wonder why things are so hard. One answer is that they are supposed to be. Earth is not heaven.

It is the Holy Spirit’s job to produce Christlike character in you. This process of changing you to be more like Jesus is called sanctification, and it is the third purpose of your life on earth. New Year’s resolutions, willpower, and best intentions are not enough to get you there. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to make the changes God wants. “God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him.”

You must cooperate. The Holy Spirit releases his power the moment you take a step of faith. When Joshua stood before the floodwaters of the Jordan, they receded only after the leaders stepped into the rushing current in obedience and faith. Obedience unlocks God’s power. God waits for you to act first. Don’t wait to feel powerful or confident — move ahead in your weakness, doing the right thing in spite of your fears and feelings.

Paul lays out three responsibilities in Ephesians 4. First, choose to let go of old ways of acting: “Everything connected with that old way of life has to go. Get rid of it!” Second, change the way you think: “Let the Spirit change your way of thinking.” Third, put on the character of Christ by developing new, godly habits. Your character is essentially the sum of your habits. “Put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

God uses three things to mold you: his Word provides the truth you need to grow, his people provide the support you need to grow, and circumstances provide the environment in which you practice. Much of the confusion in the Christian life comes from ignoring the simple truth that God is far more interested in building your character than in answering every career question or preference. Whatever you do, he cares most that you do it in a Christlike manner. “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God.” Jesus did not die on the cross so we could live comfortable, well-adjusted lives. His purpose is far deeper: he wants to make us like himself before he takes us to heaven. This is our greatest privilege, our immediate responsibility, and our ultimate destiny.

This is no late development in God’s plan. Paul traces it all the way back:

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son.

Romans 8:29

Day 23 — How We Grow

Spiritual growth is not automatic — the Bible is plain: “we are not meant to remain as children” (Ephesians 4:14). It takes an intentional commitment — you must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing. The Bible says, “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” That single verse shows you the two parts: “work out” is your responsibility; “work in” is God’s role. Spiritual growth is a collaborative effort. God’s Spirit works with us, not just in us.

To change your life, you must change the way you think. Behind everything you do is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief, and every action is prompted by an attitude. God revealed this truth thousands of years before psychologists understood it: “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.” Willpower can produce short-term change, but it creates constant internal stress because it never addresses the root cause. The change doesn’t feel natural, and eventually you revert to your old patterns. There is a better way: change your autopilot — the way you think. Change always starts first in your mind. The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel influences the way you act. “There must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes.”

Day 24 — Transformed by Truth

Many troubles come from basing choices on unreliable authorities: culture (“everyone is doing it”), tradition (“we’ve always done it”), reason (“it seemed logical”), or emotion (“it just felt right”). All four are flawed by the Fall. Only God’s Word provides the perfect standard that will never lead you in the wrong direction. “Every word of God is flawless.” “Everything in the Scriptures is God’s Word. All of it is useful for teaching and helping people and for correcting them and showing them how to live.”

It is not enough to believe the Bible; you must fill your mind with it so that the Holy Spirit can transform you with the truth. There are five ways to do this: receive it, read it, research it, remember it, and reflect on it.

The parable of the sower illustrates how your receptiveness determines whether God’s Word takes root and bears fruit. Jesus identified three unreceptive attitudes — the closed mind (hard soil), the superficial mind (shallow soil), and the distracted mind (soil choked by weeds) — and then said, “Consider carefully how you listen.” Studying goes one step further than reading: it involves asking questions of the text and writing down your insights. The simple questions — who? what? when? where? why? how? — open the Word in ways passive reading never does. “Truly happy people are those who carefully study God’s perfect law that makes people free, and they continue to study it. They do not forget what they heard, but they obey what God’s teaching says.”

You remember what is important to you. If God’s Word is important, you will take the time to memorize it. The benefits are enormous: it helps you resist temptation, make wise decisions, reduce stress, build confidence, offer wise counsel, and share your faith. David was called “a man after my own heart” in part because he loved to reflect on God’s Word: “How I love your teachings! I think about them all day long.” Meditation is focused thinking — you select a verse and turn it over in your mind repeatedly, letting it sink below the surface.

God’s Word exposes motives, points out faults, rebukes sin, and expects change. It is human nature to resist all four, which is why applying the Bible is hard work and why discussing your personal applications with others matters. “The Bible was not given to increase our knowledge but to change our lives.”

Day 25 — Transformed by Trouble

Life is a series of problems. Every time you solve one, another is waiting to take its place. Peter assures us this is normal: “Don’t be bewildered or surprised when you go through the fiery trials ahead, for this is no strange, unusual thing.” God uses problems to draw you closer to himself. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.” Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely come in your darkest days — when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you’re out of options — and you turn to God alone. It is during suffering that we learn to pray our most authentic, heartfelt, honest-to-God prayers. When we’re in pain, we don’t have the energy for anything superficial.

Because God is sovereignly in control, accidents are just incidents in his good plan for you. God can bring good out of the worst evil — he did at Calvary. The events in your life work together in his plan, not as isolated acts but as interdependent parts of the process to make you like Christ. To bake a cake you must use flour, salt, raw eggs, sugar, and oil — each unpleasant or bitter on its own. Bake them together and they become something worth having. Give God all your distasteful, unpleasant experiences and he will blend them together for good.

In the official family tree of Jesus Christ, four women are listed: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba — not exactly sterling reputations by any standard. Yet God brought good out of bad and Jesus came through their lineage. God’s purpose is greater than our problems, our pain, and even our sin. That purpose is that we “become like his Son.” Everything God allows to happen in your life is permitted for that end.

The Bible compares trials to a metal refiner’s fire that burns away the impurities. A silversmith was asked, “How do you know when the silver is pure?” He replied, “When I see my reflection in it.” When you have been refined by trials, people can see Jesus’ reflection in you. “Under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” Jesus himself “learned obedience through suffering” and “was made perfect through suffering.”

Problems don’t automatically produce what God intends. Many people become bitter rather than better and never grow up. You have to respond the way Jesus would. Joseph understood this when he told his brothers who had sold him into slavery, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” The secret of endurance is to remember that your pain is temporary but your reward will be eternal.

God tells you to give thanks “in all circumstances” — not “for all circumstances.” He doesn’t expect you to be grateful for evil or for pain. He wants you to thank him that he will use your problems to fulfill his purposes. “Rejoice in the Lord always.” Not over your pain — that would be masochism. Rejoice in the Lord: in his love, his care, his wisdom, his power, his faithfulness. When you grasp the eternal consequences of character development, you will pray fewer “Comfort me” prayers and more “Conform me” prayers. If you are facing trouble now, don’t ask, “Why me?” Ask, “What do you want me to learn?” Then trust God and keep doing what’s right.

Paul held both ends of the tension together in a single verse:

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

2 Corinthians 4:17

Day 26 — Growing through Temptation

While temptation is Satan’s primary weapon to destroy you, God wants to use it to develop you. Every time you choose to do good instead of sin, you are growing in the character of Christ. God develops the fruit of the Spirit in your life by allowing you to experience circumstances in which you are tempted to express the exact opposite quality. Character development always involves a choice, and temptation provides the opportunity.

God teaches love by putting unlovely people around you — it takes no character to love people who are lovely to you. He teaches real joy in the midst of sorrow, real peace not by making things go as planned but by allowing times of chaos and confusion, patience not by eliminating the wait but by forcing it. You can’t claim to be good if you have never been tempted to be bad. Integrity is built by defeating the temptation to be dishonest; humility grows when you refuse pride; endurance develops every time you reject the urge to give up.

Temptation follows a four-step process. First, Satan identifies a desire inside you — it may be sinful, like the desire to get revenge, or legitimate, like the desire to be loved. He then suggests that you give in to an evil desire or fulfill a legitimate one in the wrong way or at the wrong time. Always beware of shortcuts: they are often temptations. Second comes doubt: “Is it really wrong? Did God really say not to do it? Doesn’t God want me to be happy?” Third comes deception: Satan is incapable of telling the truth and is called “the Father of lies.” He offers the lie to replace what God has already said. “You will not die. You’ll be wiser like God. No one will ever know. It’s only a little sin.” But a little sin is like being a little pregnant — it will eventually show itself. Fourth comes disobedience: the idea that has been playing in the mind gets birthed into behavior. “We are tempted when we are drawn away and trapped by our own evil desires. Then our evil desires conceive and give birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

It is not a sin to be tempted. Jesus was tempted, yet he never sinned. Temptation only becomes sin when you give in to it. Martin Luther said, “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” The closer you grow to God, the more Satan will try to tempt you — he fears your prayers and will try anything to stop them.

Recognize your pattern of temptation and prepare for it. There are certain situations that make you more vulnerable than others — unique to your weaknesses. Ask yourself: When am I most tempted? Where? Who is with me? How do I usually feel? Wise planning reduces temptation. “Plan carefully what you do. Avoid evil and walk straight ahead. Don’t go one step off the right way.” Request God’s help. Heaven has a twenty-four-hour emergency line. “Call on me in times of trouble. I will rescue you, and you will honor me.”

James closed the same thought with a promise:

Happy is the man who doesn’t give in and do wrong when he is tempted, for afterwards he will get as his reward the crown of life that God has promised those who love him.

James 1:12

Day 27 — Defeating Temptation

Nowhere in the Bible are you told to resist temptation. You are told to resist the devil — that is very different. Instead, you are advised to refocus your attention, because resisting a thought doesn’t work: it only intensifies the focus on the wrong thing and strengthens its allure. Job said, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust.” David prayed, “Keep me from paying attention to what is worthless.” Repeating “I must stop” keeps you focused on what you don’t want. Temptation begins by capturing your attention; what gets your attention arouses your emotions; your emotions activate your behavior. Ignoring a temptation is far more effective than fighting it. You defeat bad thoughts by thinking of something better. “Fix your thoughts on Jesus.” “Fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.”

Reveal your struggle to a godly friend or support group. Authentic, honest fellowship is the antidote to the lonely struggle against sins that won’t budge. “You are better off to have a friend than to be all alone. If you fall, your friend can help you up.” “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Don’t repress it; confess it. Don’t conceal it; reveal it. Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. Hiding your hurt only intensifies it. Problems grow in the dark and become bigger; when exposed to the light of truth, they shrink. Willpower and personal resolutions are not enough — if they were, you would have solved this already.

After humbling yourself and submitting to God, defy the devil. “Resist the Devil and he will flee from you.” We don’t passively resign ourselves to his attacks; we fight back. “Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” With the helmet of salvation, your mind is protected. With the Word of God as your weapon, you have the only thing Satan genuinely fears. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, he didn’t argue — he quoted Scripture from memory, every time. If you have no Bible verses memorized, you have no bullets in your gun.

Finally, realize your vulnerability. Never get cocky. “The heart is deceitful above all things” — we are experts at fooling ourselves. Given the right circumstances, any of us is capable of any sin. It is easier to stay out of temptation than to get out of it. “Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else.”

Day 28 — It Takes Time

We are obsessed with speed, but God is more interested in strength and stability than swiftness. We want the quick fix, the shortcut, the on-the-spot solution — a sermon or seminar that instantly resolves all problems and releases us from all growing pains. But real maturity is never the result of a single experience, no matter how powerful. Growth is gradual. “Our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.”

We are slow learners. We often have to relearn a lesson forty or fifty times to really get it. The problems recur and we think, “Not again — I’ve already learned that.” But God knows better. The history of Israel shows how quickly we forget and revert to old patterns. We need repeated exposure. And we have a lot to unlearn: most problems — and all bad habits — didn’t develop overnight, so it’s unrealistic to expect them to vanish immediately. There is no pill, prayer, or principle that will instantly undo the damage of many years. It requires the hard work of removal and replacement — “taking off the old self” and “putting on the new self.” At the moment of conversion you were given a brand-new nature, but old habits, patterns, and practices still need to be removed and replaced.

The fear of what we might discover if we honestly faced our character defects keeps us in the prison of denial. Only as God is allowed to shine the light of his truth on our faults, failures, and hang-ups can we begin to work on them. This is why you cannot grow without a humble, teachable attitude. “It’s crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we’ve heard so that we don’t drift off.”

Be patient with God and with yourself. God is never in a hurry, but he is always on time. He will use your entire lifetime to prepare you for your role in eternity. It took eighty years to prepare Moses — including forty in the wilderness. For 14,600 days Moses kept waiting and wondering, “Is it time yet?” And God kept saying, “Not yet.” When Habakkuk grew despondent because God seemed too slow, God answered: “These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day.” A delay is not a denial. Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be. God is not finished with you yet.

Purpose Four — You Were Shaped for Serving God

Day 29 — Accepting Your Assignment

You weren’t created just to consume resources — to eat, breathe, and take up space. God designed you to make a difference with your life. While many books offer advice on how to get the most out of life, that’s not the reason God made you. You were created to add to life on earth, not just take from it. “God has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do.” These good deeds are your service. Whenever you serve others in any way, you are actually serving God and fulfilling one of your purposes. You’re not saved by service, but you are saved for service.

It cost Jesus his own life to purchase your salvation. “God paid a great price for you. So use your body to honor God.” Through salvation your past has been forgiven, your present is given meaning, and your future is secured. John taught that our loving service to others shows we are truly saved: “Our love for each other proves that we have gone from death to life.” If there is no love for others, no desire to serve, and only concern for personal needs, there is reason to question whether Christ is really in the life. A saved heart is one that wants to serve.

Why does God leave us in a fallen world after we accept his grace? He leaves us here to fulfill his purposes. Once you are saved, God intends to use you for his goals. There is a practice in some churches of welcoming new believers this way: “Jesus now has a new pair of eyes to see with, new ears to listen with, new hands to help with, and a new heart to love others with.” Every ministry matters because we are all dependent on each other to function. Imagine if your liver decided to live for itself — to stop serving the body and simply be fed. Your body would die. Thousands of local churches are dying today because Christians sit on the sidelines as spectators while the Body suffers. Jesus was unmistakable: “Your attitude must be like my own, for I, the Messiah, did not come to be served, but to serve and to give my life.”

Spiritual maturity is never an end in itself. Maturity is for ministry — we grow up in order to give out. The question to ask is not “What am I getting?” but “Whose needs can I meet?” If you’re not involved in any service or ministry, what excuse have you been using? Abraham was old. Jacob was insecure. Leah was unattractive. Joseph was abused. Moses stuttered. Gideon was poor. Rahab was immoral. David had an affair and all kinds of family problems. Elijah was suicidal. Jeremiah was depressed. Jonah was reluctant. Peter was impulsive. Thomas had doubts. Paul had poor health. Timothy was timid. That is quite a variety of misfits — but God used every one of them. He will use you, too, if you stop making excuses.

This was never your idea — it was God’s plan for you from the beginning:

It is God himself who has made us what we are and given us new lives from Christ Jesus; and long ages ago he planned that we should spend these lives in helping others.

Ephesians 2:10

Day 30 — Shaped for Serving God

”We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.” Whenever God gives an assignment, he always equips the person with what they need to accomplish it. This custom combination of capabilities is called your SHAPE: Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experience.

You can’t earn your spiritual gifts or deserve them — that’s why they are called gifts. They are an expression of God’s grace to you. “Christ has generously divided out his gifts to us.” Neither do you get to choose which gifts you’d like; God determines that. And they were not given for your own benefit but for the benefit of others, just as other people were given gifts for your benefit.

Whenever the church forgets these truths about gifts, two problems appear. The first is gift-envy: comparing your gifts with others’, feeling dissatisfied with what God gave you, and growing resentful or jealous of how God uses others. The second is gift-projection: expecting everyone else to have your gifts, do what you are called to do, and feel as passionate about it as you do. “There are different kinds of service in the church, but it is the same Lord we are serving.”

How do you know when you are serving God from your heart? The first telltale sign is enthusiasm: when you are doing what you love to do, no one has to motivate you or check up on you — you do it for the sheer enjoyment. The second is effectiveness: whenever you do what God wired you to love, you get good at it. Passion drives perfection. Don’t settle for just achieving “the good life,” because the good life is not good enough — ultimately it doesn’t satisfy. You can have a lot to live on and still have nothing to live for. Aim instead for the better life: serving God in a way that expresses your heart.

Day 31 — Understanding Your Shape

No one has the exact same mix of factors that make you unique. That means no one else on earth will ever be able to play the role God planned for you. If you don’t make your unique contribution to the Body of Christ, it won’t be made. “God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well.” One of the most common excuses for not serving is “I just don’t have any abilities to offer.” This is not humility — it’s inaccuracy. You have dozens, probably hundreds, of untapped, unrecognized, and unused abilities lying dormant inside you. Scripture mentions artistic ability, architecture, administration, farming, fishing, leading, managing, making music, teaching, writing, and dozens more. Every one of them can be offered to God.

God gives some people the ability to make money. “Remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth.” If you have that ability, the call is to give God the credit, use your business to serve others and share your faith, return at least a tithe of the profit as an act of worship, and aim to be a Kingdom Builder rather than merely a Wealth Builder.

Working with the grain of your temperament is always more fruitful than working against it. When you are forced to minister in a manner that is out of character, it creates tension and requires extra effort with less-than-best results. And just as your temperament shapes how you serve, your experiences shape what you know. Six categories matter: family experiences (what you learned growing up), educational experiences (your favorite subjects), vocational experiences (what you’ve been most effective at), spiritual experiences (your most meaningful times with God), ministry experiences (how you’ve served before), and painful experiences (the problems, hurts, and trials you’ve been through).

It is this last category that God uses the most to prepare you for ministry. God never wastes a hurt. Your greatest ministry will most likely come out of your greatest hurt. Who could better minister to parents of a child with a disability than another couple who have walked that road? Who could better help someone fight addiction than someone who found freedom from it? The experiences you have most wanted to hide and forget are the ones God wants to use to help others. They are your ministry. People are always more encouraged when you share how God’s grace helped you in weakness than when you brag about your strengths. As Aldous Huxley wrote, “Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.” Don’t waste your pain. Use it.

Day 32 — Using What God Gave You

”What you are is God’s gift to you; what you do with yourself is your gift to God.” The best way to discover your gifts is to start serving and experiment with different ministries. Until you’re actually involved, you won’t know what you’re good at. When something doesn’t work, call it an experiment, not a failure — you are still learning. Ask yourself: What do I really enjoy doing most? When do I feel most fully alive? What am I doing when I lose track of time? Do I prefer routine or variety? A team or working alone? Am I more introverted or extroverted? More of a thinker or a feeler?

Forgotten experiences are worthless — which is a good reason to keep a spiritual journal. Extracting the lessons from your experiences takes time, and it helps to step back deliberately. Setting aside a full weekend for a personal life review — pausing to see how God has worked in your defining moments and considering how he wants to use those lessons in others’ lives — is worth more than months of casual reflection.

”What right have you, a human being, to cross-examine God? The pot has no right to say to the potter: ‘Why did you make me this shape?’ Surely a potter can do what he likes with the clay!” Your shape was sovereignly determined by God for his purpose, so don’t resent it or reject it. Instead of trying to reshape yourself into someone else, celebrate the shape God gave only to you. And use it — because if you don’t exercise a muscle, it weakens and atrophies. If you don’t use the abilities God has given you, you will lose them. Jesus taught the parable of the talents to make exactly this point: the servant who failed to use his one talent had it taken and given to the servant who had ten. Fail to use what you’ve been given and you’ll lose it. Use what you’ve got and God will increase it.

Day 33 — How Real Servants Act

Thousands of books have been written on leadership; few on servanthood. Jesus flipped the whole conversation: “Whoever wants to be great must become a servant” (Mark 10:43). Everyone wants to lead, no one wants to be a servant. Even Christians want to be servant-leaders rather than plain servants. But to be like Jesus is to be a servant — it is what he called himself. Real servants make themselves available. They don’t fill their schedules with pursuits that crowd out availability. Like a soldier standing by for duty, a servant must always be ready: “No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him.”

Real servants pay attention to needs. John Wesley’s motto was “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can.” You can begin by looking for small tasks no one else wants to do. Do these little things as if they were great things, because God is watching. You will never arrive at the state in life where you are too important to help with menial tasks. God will never exempt you from the mundane — it is a vital part of your character curriculum. “If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody.” There will always be more people willing to do great things for God than willing to do the little things. The race to be a leader is crowded; the field is wide open for those willing to be servants.

Real servants do their work without calling attention to it. The Pharisees turned helping others and giving into a performance. Jesus hated this: “When you do good deeds, don’t try to show off. If you do, you won’t get a reward from your Father in heaven.” Self-promotion and servanthood don’t mix. Real servants don’t serve for the approval or applause of others — they live for an audience of One. Notoriety means nothing to them because they know the difference between prominence and significance.

Day 34 — Thinking Like a Servant

King Amaziah lost God’s favor because “he did what was right in the sight of the Lord, yet not with a true heart.” The condition of the heart is everything. Servants think like stewards, not owners — they remember that God owns it all. When Martha complained to Jesus that Mary was not helping with the work, she lost her servant’s heart. Real servants don’t complain of unfairness, don’t throw pity-parties, and don’t resent those who aren’t serving. They trust God and keep serving.

If you serve like Jesus, expect to be criticized. One of the most beautiful acts of love shown to Jesus — when Mary took the most valuable thing she owned, expensive perfume, and poured it over him — was criticized by the disciples. The world, and even much of the church, does not understand what God values.

Because servants remember they are loved and accepted by grace, they don’t have to prove their worth. They willingly accept jobs that insecure people would consider beneath them. The most profound example is Jesus washing his disciples’ feet. Washing feet was the equivalent of being a shoeshine boy — a job devoid of status. But Jesus knew who he was, so the task didn’t threaten his self-image. “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God” — so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. A secure identity is the foundation of genuine humility. You don’t need the position because you already know who you are.

Day 35 — God’s Power in Your Weakness

Everyone has weaknesses — physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. You may also have uncontrollable circumstances that limit you: financial, relational, vocational. The more important issue is what you do with these. Usually we deny our weaknesses, defend them, excuse them, hide them, and resent them. Every one of those responses prevents God from using them the way he desires.

Your weaknesses are not an accident. God deliberately allowed them in your life for the purpose of demonstrating his power through you. God has never been impressed with strength or self-sufficiency. He is drawn to people who are weak and admit it. Jesus called this recognition of our need “being poor in spirit” — it is the number one attitude he blesses. “We are like clay jars in which this treasure is stored. The real power comes from God and not from us.” Like common pottery, we are fragile and flawed and break easily. But God will use us if we allow him to work through our weaknesses.

Admit your weaknesses. Own up to your imperfections. Stop pretending to have it all together. Then go further: be content with your weaknesses. Paul said, “I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses.” This is not passive resignation — it is faith in the goodness of God. It says: I believe you love me and know what’s best for me. The less I have, the more I depend on you. Vulnerability is the pathway to intimacy.

If all people see are your strengths, they get discouraged and think, “Good for her, but I’ll never be able to do that.” But when they see God using you in spite of your weaknesses, they think, “Maybe God can use me.” Our strengths create competition; our weaknesses create community. At some point you must decide whether you want to impress people or influence people. You can impress from a distance, but you must get close to influence — and when you get close, your flaws become visible. That is not a liability. That is the point.

When Jacob wrestled with God and said, “I’m not letting go until you bless me,” God said, “All right” — and then dislocated Jacob’s hip. The thigh muscle is the strongest in the body. God touched Jacob’s greatest strength and turned it into a weakness. From that day forward Jacob walked with a limp, so he could never run away again. It forced him to lean on God whether he liked it or not. If you want God to bless you and use you greatly, you must be willing to walk with a limp the rest of your life. God uses weak people.

God said it first, and Paul received it as the whole foundation:

I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Purpose Five — You Were Made for a Mission

Day 36 — Made for a Mission

Jesus prayed it to the Father the night before he died: “In the same way that you gave me a mission in the world, I give them a mission in the world” (John 17:18). Jesus clearly understood his life mission on earth. At age twelve he said, “I must be about my Father’s business,” and twenty-one years later, dying on the cross, he said, “It is finished.” Like bookends, those two statements frame a well-lived, purpose-driven life. The mission Jesus had while on earth is now our mission because we are the Body of Christ. What is that mission? Introducing people to God. “Christ changed us from enemies into his friends and gave us the task of making others his friends also.”

God wants to redeem human beings and reconcile them to himself so they can fulfill the five purposes he created them for: to love him, to be part of his family, to become like him, to serve him, and to tell others about him. Once he saves us, he sends us out. Scripture warns: “You must warn them so they may live. If you don’t speak out to warn the wicked to stop their evil ways, they will die in their sin. But I will hold you responsible for their death.” Telling others how they can have eternal life is the greatest thing you can do for them. If your neighbor had a life-threatening illness and you knew the cure, it would be criminal to withhold that information. Even worse is to keep secret the way to forgiveness, purpose, peace, and eternal life. We have the greatest news in the world, and sharing it is the greatest kindness you can show anyone.

Your mission has eternal significance — it will impact the eternal destiny of other people, making it more important than any job, achievement, or goal you will reach during your life on earth. We will have all of eternity to celebrate with those we brought to Jesus, but we only have our lifetime in which to reach them. This does not mean quitting your job to become a full-time evangelist. God wants you to share the Good News where you are — as a student, a parent, a salesman, a manager — looking for people he places in your path. “My life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus — the work of telling others the Good News about God’s wonderful kindness and love.” There are people on this planet whom only you will be able to reach, because of where you live and what God has made you to be. If just one person is in heaven because of you, your life will have made a difference for eternity.

It is easy to be distracted from this mission, because Satan would rather have you do anything besides sharing your faith. He will let you do all kinds of good things as long as you don’t take anyone to heaven with you. But the moment you become serious about your mission, expect diversions. When that happens, remember: “Anyone who lets himself be distracted from the work I plan for him is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”

To fulfill your mission will require abandoning your agenda and accepting God’s agenda for your life. You must say, like Jesus, “Father, I want your will, not mine.” You stop praying “God, bless what I want to do” and start praying “God, help me to do what you’re blessing.” You hand God a blank sheet with your name signed at the bottom and tell him to fill in the details.

Near the end of his life, Warren’s father — weak and barely able to move — kept trying to get out of his hospital bed. When asked what he was trying to do, he said again and again, “Got to save one more for Jesus!” He said it probably a hundred times in that final hour. As Warren sat beside him with tears streaming down his face, his father reached out a frail hand and placed it on his head, commissioning him: “Save one more for Jesus!” That is the theme of a purpose-driven life. If you want to be used by God, you must care about what God cares about — and what he cares about most is the redemption of the people he made. He wants his lost children found. Nothing matters more to him; the cross proves that. One day, if you have lived this way, you will be able to stand before God and say: “Mission accomplished.”

Day 37 — Sharing Your Life Message

The apostle John put it this way: “Those who believe in the Son of God have the testimony of God in them” (1 John 5:10). Your Life Message has four parts: your testimony (the story of how you began a relationship with Jesus), your life lessons (the most important things God has taught you), your godly passions (the issues God shaped you to care about most), and the Good News (the message of salvation itself).

In a courtroom, a witness is not expected to argue the case, prove the truth, or press for a verdict — that is the attorney’s job. Witnesses simply report what happened to them or what they saw. Jesus said, “You will be my witnesses,” not “You will be my attorneys.” He wants you to share your story. Your testimony is unique; there is no other story just like yours, so only you can share it. It also bypasses intellectual defenses. Many people who won’t accept the authority of the Bible will listen to a humble, personal story. That is why on six different occasions Paul used his testimony to share the gospel instead of quoting Scripture.

”Be ready at all times to answer anyone who asks you to explain the hope you have in you, but do it with gentleness and respect.” The best way to be ready is to write out your testimony and memorize the main points, organized in four movements: what my life was like before I met Jesus; how I realized I needed him; how I committed my life to him; and the difference he has made since. But you have more than one testimony. You have a story for every experience in which God has helped you — every problem, crisis, and circumstance he has brought you through. Keep a list. Different situations call for different testimonies; match yours to the person in front of you.

Questions to jog your memory: What has God taught me from failure? From a lack of money? From pain, sorrow, or depression? From waiting? From illness? From disappointment? What have I learned from my family, my church, my relationships, my critics? You cannot keep yourself from talking about what you care about most. David said, “My zeal for God and his work burns hot within me.” Jeremiah said, “Your message burns in my heart and bones, and I cannot keep silent.” And no amount of training in evangelism will motivate you to witness for Christ until you love lost people the way God does. “There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear.” A parent will run into a burning building to save a child because love is greater than fear. Ask God to fill your heart with his love for the people around you.

Day 38 — Becoming a World-Class Christian

Jesus said it plainly: “Go everywhere in the world, and tell the Good News to everyone” (Mark 16:15). God commands, “Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too.” The mindset Paul adopted was: “I don’t think about what would be good for me but about what would be good for many people so that they might be saved.” That shift — from self-focused to others-focused — is what makes the difference between a good Christian and a world-class one.

Prayer is the first way to participate. The Bible tells us to pray for opportunities to witness, for courage to speak up, for those who will believe, for the rapid spread of the message, and for more workers. “You are also joining to help us when you pray for us.” Prayer makes you a partner with believers around the world working in places you may never go.

But if you have the opportunity, go. A short-term mission trip will enlarge your heart, expand your vision, stretch your faith, deepen your compassion, and fill you with a kind of joy you have never experienced. It could be the turning point of your life. Shift from thinking of excuses to thinking of creative ways to fulfill your commission. Common objections answered: “I only speak English” — that is actually an advantage in many countries where millions of people want to learn English and are eager to practice it. “I don’t have anything to offer” — every ability and experience in your SHAPE can be used somewhere. “I’m too old (or too young)” — most mission agencies have age-appropriate projects. God rejected Sarah’s claim that she was too old and Jeremiah’s claim that he was too young: “Don’t say that — you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid, for I will be with you.”

Day 39 — Balancing Your Life

One of the summer Olympic events is the pentathlon: five disciplines — pistol shooting, fencing, horseback riding, running, and swimming. The pentathlete’s goal is to succeed in all five areas, not just one or two. Your life is a pentathlon of five purposes that must be kept in balance. The Great Commandment and the Great Commission together map them all: “Love God with all your heart” — you were planned for God’s pleasure, so your purpose is worship. “Love your neighbor as yourself” — you were shaped for serving, so your purpose is ministry. “Go and make disciples” — you were made for a mission, so your purpose is evangelism. “Baptize them” — you were formed for God’s family, so your purpose is fellowship. “Teach them to do all things” — you were created to become like Christ, so your purpose is discipleship.

We grow best in community. “As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other.” Our minds are sharpened and convictions deepened through conversation. “Encourage each other and give each other strength.” We are meant to grow together, not separately.

God places high value on honest self-evaluation. At least five times in Scripture we are told to test and examine our own spiritual health: “Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups.” Just as a doctor monitors blood pressure, temperature, and weight, you need to regularly check the five vital signs of worship, fellowship, growth in character, ministry, and mission. Keep a spiritual journal — not just the pleasant experiences, but your doubts, fears, and struggles with God, as David did. And pass on what you know. The best way to learn more is to pass along what you have already learned. “The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.” Knowledge increases responsibility: “Anyone who knows the right thing to do, but does not do it, is sinning.”

The night before he was crucified, Jesus told his Father, “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.” At that moment he had not yet died for our sins — so what “work” had he completed? He explained in the next verses: he had prepared his disciples to live for God’s purposes. He had helped them know and love God (worship), taught them to love each other (fellowship), given them the Word so they could grow to maturity (discipleship), shown them how to serve (ministry), and sent them out to tell others (mission). Jesus modeled a purpose-driven life, and then he taught others how to live it. That was the work that brought glory to God.

Day 40 — Living with Purpose

Most people struggle with three basic questions: “Who am I?” (identity), “Do I matter?” (importance), and “What is my place in life?” (impact). The answers to all three are found in God’s five purposes for you. To keep living by them, develop a personal purpose statement — and then review it regularly. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Some examples from people who have done this work:

• “My life purpose is to worship Christ with my heart, serve him with my shape, fellowship with his family, grow like him in character, and fulfill his mission in the world so he receives glory."
• "My life purpose is to be a member of Christ’s family, a model of his character, a minister of his grace, a messenger of his word, and a magnifier of his glory."
• "My life purpose is to make a great commitment to the Great Commandment and the Great Commission."
• "My goal is Christlikeness; my family is the church; my ministry is ___; my mission is ___; my motive is the glory of God.”

The central question underneath all of these is: What will be the center of my life? When God is at the center, you worship. When he’s not, you worry. Worry is the warning light that God has been shoved to the sideline. God is far more interested in what you are than what you do — you will take your character into eternity, but not your career. “Our purpose is to please God, not people.”

One day all of us will stand before the throne of God and present our lives in deep gratitude and praise to Christ. The troubles that felt so heavy will have achieved an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. The goal of this forty-day journey — and of every day that follows — is to be able to say what Jesus said, what Warren’s father said on his deathbed, what every purpose-driven life moves toward: Mission accomplished.

Day 41 — The Envy Trap

There is nothing wrong with noticing how others look, act, talk, and live. God made people in limitless variety on purpose, and appreciating that variety is a form of worship. It only becomes a problem when you resent how God made others, reject how he made you, and start envying what they have. Envy is a trap. In a world where technology allows you to see how everyone else is living every hour of every day, envy may be the most common reason people miss God’s unique plan for their lives.

The worst part of envy is that it is an insult to God. Every time you wish you were someone else, or had what they have, you are saying: God, you made a huge mistake with me. You could have done better. This is precisely why God outlawed envy in the Ten Commandments — “You shall not covet” — and why James 3:16 identifies it as the root of “every evil practice.”

If you want to increase the happiness you experience in life, here is one of the secrets: learn to enjoy the successes and joys of others. If you are only happy when good things happen to you, you will spend most of your life unhappy, since no one experiences only good things. But if you can enjoy other people’s victories too, you will always have something to be glad about. Ambitious dreams, a desire to grow, faith goals — all of these are good things, when they come from God, benefit others, and are pursued for his glory. But envy poisons everything it touches and prevents God’s blessing on your efforts. Why you do what you do matters most to God.

Five facts to recall the next time you are tempted to resent God’s apparent unfairness. First: everything I have is an undeserved gift from God — I wouldn’t even exist without his grace. Second: I don’t know what God knows and I can’t see what God sees, so I should trust him. Third: life on earth is unfair because of sin, not because of God — our rebellion against him has broken everything on the planet; this isn’t heaven, where everything works perfectly. Fourth: God sent Jesus to save us from the judgment day when he will balance the books, right all wrongs, and administer justice. Fifth: it was not fair for Jesus to die in my place for my sins. But he did.

In Matthew 20, Jesus told the story of a landowner who hired men at different hours of the day. At the end, he paid all of them the same amount, regardless of how long they had worked. The all-day workers complained loudly about unfairness. The landowner’s reply cuts through every envy argument: “Friend, I didn’t cheat you. I paid you exactly what we agreed on. Take your money now and go. What business is it of yours if I want to be generous? Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money?” Take what is yours and go your way. God’s generosity toward someone else is never a subtraction from you.

Day 42 — The People-Pleaser Trap

There is nothing wrong with the desire to be accepted, appreciated, and approved by other people. Without the affirmation of others, we never fully blossom into our potential. But like all of the healthy desires God places in our hearts, the desire for approval can be misused, abused, and confused. It can become an obsession that dominates life and a fear that destroys the soul.

Fear of being criticized or rejected by others is the most common reason people get detoured from the path God planned for them — and it is Satan’s favorite tool for the purpose. Once you know what you were created to do, he whispers: But what will other people think? What if they dislike the changes you make? What if they criticize what you say or do? What if they make fun of what you believe? Peer pressure — whether at school, at work, in your neighborhood — is always rooted in the fear of disapproval or rejection.

The Bible does command genuine consideration of others. “We cannot just go ahead and do things to please ourselves. We must be considerate of the doubts and fears of those who think these things are wrong.” It is unloving to ignore how our choices affect other people. But the Bible also warns that it is “dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you,” and that “too much honey is bad for you, and so is trying to win too much praise.” The fear of disapproval keeps you from taking risks in faith. Without risk-taking, faith cannot be stretched and developed. Some people never even take the first step to faith in Christ because they fear their friends or family will disapprove — a fatal mistake, because you will one day “give an account to him.”

When the opinions of others loom large, God’s role in your life is proportionally reduced. Whoever’s opinion matters most to you is, functionally, your god — because you have given that person power and authority that belongs only to God. This is why people-pleasing generates so much insecurity: it is a kind of idolatry, and idols always disappoint. When God’s approval matters most, it sets you free from insecurity, because he will never reject you.

Scripture is full of people who did wrong because they gave in to peer pressure: Reuben agreed to sell his brother Joseph into slavery because the other brothers pressured him. Aaron built a golden idol when the people pressured him. Samson broke his vow when his girlfriend pressured him. Peter denied knowing Jesus when he feared what bystanders would say. Pilate, though he knew Jesus had done nothing worthy of punishment, allowed the crucifixion because he feared the crowd’s disapproval. “Bad company corrupts good character.”

The way out of the people-pleaser prison is to change the way you think. The biblical word for this mental shift is repentance. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Cultural lies conform us; eternal truths transform us. “The truth will set you free.” One truth worth holding: even God cannot please everyone — at every sporting event, fans on each side pray for their team to win; someone is always disappointed. Jesus himself said, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you.” If everyone approves of you, you are almost certainly not living for God.

Stop wasting emotional energy trying to please someone who is fundamentally unappeasable. There are people — often a parent or family member — who will never be satisfied no matter what you do. “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” And consider: can you remember the people whose opinions mattered most to you in high school? How much do their opinions matter today? People-pleasing is always short-term thinking. The benefits never last.

The first two of the Ten Commandments are: you must not have any other god but God, and you shall not make for yourself an idol of any kind. If someone’s approval matters more to you than God’s, that person has become an idol. The question at the end of every purpose-driven life is not whether other people approved, but whether God does: “If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory.” Let the answer to that question be the one thing you are never in doubt about.