Everyone at church asks her about him. Nobody asks her about her, and she’s been answering for someone else’s life for two years.
Order the coffee, ask one question about her, and then be quiet.
Take the Spouse to Coffee
Same time every week, no advice, no progress report required. The husbands and wives of addicts are the loneliest people in the building.
What you'll need
- A standing weekly time and a place that isn't church
- Ten dollars, and your phone face down
- Zero opinions about their marriage
What to say
Same time next week? You don't have to give me an update. I just want to see you.
Pitfalls
- Never ask how he's doing, meaning the addict. Ask how she is.
- Don't offer a plan. She's had eleven plans. She needs an hour where nobody is fixing anything.
- Keep everything she says to yourself, including from your own spouse.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. — Romans 12:15