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Strengthen Your Marriage

Marriage Conflict Playbook

If you've had this same fight enough times to dread it, you don't need more advice — you need to understand what it's actually about. Tell this coach what's happening. It asks the questions that get underneath the issue, and gives you a real plan built for your situation and drawn from the best marriage research.

1 The basics
2 Questions for you
3 Going deeper
✦ Your plan

Step 1 of 3 — the same for everyone

Start with the basics

A handful of standard questions to get oriented. The next two rounds will be written specifically for you, based on what you say here.

What's the conflict mostly about?

In your own words — what's the fight actually about? What happened most recently?

Don't tidy it up. The more honest and specific you are, the better every question and recommendation gets.

How often does this come up?

How long has it been going on?

When it flares up, what do you tend to do?

And what does your spouse tend to do?

What have you already tried? (pick any)

What do you most want out of this?

When you two fight, which is closest to the truth?

Do you want this plan to include Christian-based ideas?

If yes, we'll include a short Scripture-and-prayer reflection. If not, we'll use a practical, CBT-style reframe in its place.

Anything else — including their side, as you understand it? (optional)

Free, private, nothing saved. Takes about 3 minutes.